The Ham(bulletin)

Blog Break

2011-12-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to get the word out that I am taking a break from blogging indefinitely. I'm not quite sure what changed, but over the last few months blogging has become more a chore than something I enjoy. I still love the idea of blogs and reading other people's blogs, but for now I just need to take a break from mine. I don't know when/if I will return, but you can still find me on:

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

Yelp

and Instagram

Thank you, readers, for all the support you've shown me. I really appreciate it. Perhaps I'll be back after a while.

May Your Days be Merry and Bright

2011-12-02T09:17:00.000-08:00

This has been the longest time I've gone without posting for a while! I'd say it is due to an even mix of 1. being busy and 2. spending my precious little free time on some other hobbies:

As for the first, we have been busy with the usual stuff, especially since I'm in the middle of finals right now. But, we have also been busy with celebrating. Scott Rotrock and Jason Wiseman had birthdays in the past couple weeks. They are both stellar men who not only work hard at their jobs, but are also great husbands, dads, and friends. They are using their lives to have such a meaningful impact on so many others, and that is really worth celebrating. Bryce, Piper, and I had a great time going out on the town for their birthdays and enjoyed the chance to see a lot of our old friends at the parties. We were also able to make up our own version of snooker. Does anyone out there know how to play the real version? Does it have anything to do with her? BAHAHAH

As for the second, I've been playing my guitar every chance I get. This happens to me every few months, I get hooked on a song, force myself to learn it, and then play it non stop for days until I'm totally sick of it. This time around it is Bon Iver's "For Emma." I first heard this song as covered by Portland's own Ezza Rose and it was awesome. I like it better than the original. I'll post a video I found of it below. Thanks, Jen, for introducing me to her.

I've also been busy crafting, decorating, and planning for a lot of wonderful events we have coming up. Check out this run down:

1. Piper turns 3 on December 10.

2. Connor and Kaley get married on December 17.

3. Our anniversary is December 22.

4. Christmas and New Years!

So many happy and exciting things to look forward to. It is so fun to be a part of these events and try to make them special and memorable. My life is full of so many incredible things to celebrate and give thanks for. I love setting aside time to do so this time of year.

I hope your holiday season is likewise full of merrymaking!

We Go Together like Wop-Bop-Ba-Lu-Bop.

2011-11-23T14:18:00.000-08:00

I know I said I would write about the second special event of this weekend in this post, but it will have to wait. Piper and I have been playing with face paint this morning which reminded me of my roommate during my freshman year of college and I just wanted to write a little about her.

Hannah and I were paired together randomly, but boy was it a good match. In the words of our RA, we were "made for each other." We spent most of our free time being hermits in our dorm room. But it was so fun. We watched musicals, shared secrets, danced to the "classics", vented, and laughed. Hannah is honestly one of the nicest people I've ever met and living with her was so easy and fun. I miss you, Hannah!

Kaley's Bridal Shower

2011-11-20T22:45:00.000-08:00

We here at the Hambelton homestead have been sick for over a week now. Most of our time has been spent lying low and watching bad action movies. But, this weekend we got the chance to celebrate two special occasions, one of which was Kaley's bridal shower.

I brought my camera to the shower, but it had a dead battery so I was unfortunately only able to take pictures with my phone. It really is too bad because the shower was adorable. There were so many friends and family members there to show Kaley their support. I've been amazed at how many people have wanted to be a part of this wedding. Kaley has so many people who care for her and want to celebrate with her...

...But it makes sense because Kaley is a good friend to so many. At the shower we played one of those games where Kaley had to guess Connor's answers to a set of questions. At the end of the game, Kaley had to guess what Connor's favorite thing about her was. None of us were surprised when we learned that Connor's answer was, "How much she genuinely cares for people." This girl has a big heart. No wonder she has 9 bridesmaids :).

In keeping with the tradition of posting songs for all the couples whose wedding I have been in this year (see here, here, and here), this song always reminds me of Kaley and her willingness to sacrifice for and encourage Connor as he hopes to go to med school. I am so excited for Connor and Kaley to be married and I'm so glad I will always get to be a part of their life. The family they build together will be beautiful and the world will be better off for it.

And there isn't a good way to type this without it sounding like I'm pressuring them, but I can't wait for them to give me little nieces and nephews! Party at Aunt Em's house!

In the next post I'll write about the second celebration. For, now I'm going to enjoy the last few hours of the weekend. You do the same!

Social Networking

2011-11-12T20:58:00.000-08:00

The other day I posted my 400th pin on pinterest. Sheesh. That is a lot. But, I don't feel bad about it. I will explain why below. Here is my silly little run down on social networks:

Likes:

Pinterest: What is so great about pinterest is that it inspires you to get off of the computer and to create. Just earlier today I used two recipes I found off of pinterest. I've also used it for tons of decorating ideas and diy projects. Another thing that I like about it is that it helps me define my aesthetic. To steal a phrase from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," I tend to be a sponge instead of a filter, meaning that I tend to like everything when I first look at it. Pinterest helps me figure out specifically what I like and dislike about things. In this way, it helps me realize what I truly think is beautiful. You can follow my pinterest here.

Blogs: I love blogs. I love reading people's ideas, hearing about their lives, and seeing their pictures. I wish more people had them, and not only for my own selfish reasons. I also think they are good tools to get people thinking and writing, which is good for, you know, our brainz. :)

Spotify: Who doesn't think spotify is great? I know a lot of people complain that it is clogging up Facebook, but I personally love seeing what other people are listening to. Sometimes it fits my own atmosphere perfectly and I start listening to it too. I have discovered some new artists this way. Above and beyond this, having access to so much music is rad. And being able to make and share playlists is taking me back to the good ol' days of exchanging mixed cds. If you are a nostalgic geek like me, I recently made a playlists of what I think is some of the best of the 90s. In fact, I'm listening to it right now as I type. You could be too if you clicked here (Who doesn't love that "I'll Be" song by Edwin McCain? hehehe).

Eh, OKs:

Facebook: Is it just me, or has Facebook become sooooo boring? There used to be something interesting about it, but lately it is just useless statuses and lots of pictures of cats with semi-funny captions. It is still useful for writing little notes to friends and posting pictures. And, of course, posting links to other, more interesting websites. :) So, I'm keeping it around for now, but I make no promises.

Instagram: I rarely use this, in fact, I think I only follow one person. But, it is a good, quick way to make your pictures look artsy and post them to the interwebs.

Blah:

Twitter (with an exception): I can hardly stand twitter most the time. It is like Facebook, but without any of the good things. However, I do like it for following people who don't take it seriously and post funny/sarcastic stuff like @humblebrag and @fakescience.

Now, to shut off the computer and go out for drinks...real life social networking FTW!

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

2011-11-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

Great news! Bryce's younger brother, Connor, and his fiance, Kaley, are going to be our neighbors! A couple weeks ago Connor moved into the apartment one floor above us (and one door over). Kaley will be moving in after the wedding, which is now only 38 days away. We couldn't be happier to have these two so close.

Bryce and I are firm believers in living really close to your friends. It naturally lends itself to spending more time together. Already I can see this happening with Connor and Kaley. In fact, just a few hours ago Connor stopped by and ended up joining us for dinner and a movie (Transcendent Man - have you seen it? It is weird!). I love the ease of being so close. I also love having a door to knock on when I need a cup of sugar now. And vice versa. :) We love Connor and Kaley. Our time together these past few weeks has been great and I can already feel us becoming better friends. I am so glad they're here.

Kaley's parents had us over for a big family dinner on Sunday. This conversation transpired...

"You know, Emily, you and Kaley kind of look alike. You could be sisters." - Kaley's Dad

"Yeah I can see it. Your mouths are similar." - Kaley's sister

"It's the big teeth." - Kaley and Emily simultaneously.

Uproarious laughter.

...Kaley, only five more weeks and we WILL be sisters! AND neighbors! Can't wait.

Daydream Believer

2011-11-04T22:50:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in the previous post, I wanted to write about some of the treats of Halloween weekend. Bryce and I had tentatively planned to go to a Halloween party on Saturday evening, but as it turned out, I had to write a 19 page paper. We decided that getting costumes ready and going to the party would be too much. Instead I took a short break from studying so we could go on a quick family date. We decided to hit up happy hour at the Tin Shed. We had never been there before, and boy was it a treat. They have an awesome outdoor seating area with overhead heaters, so that you can be outside comfortably even in the cool autumn air. They are totally family friendly with a small garden to roam around in and toys to keep little hands busy. The delicious and well priced beer and food was simply the icing on the cake.

But the real treat of this time out was being with my family. I love them. Our time was spent talking about our past and our future. We discussed how our life has been for the past year, how much we have grown, and how the beauty and preciousness that we see in one another is continually increasing. We daydreamed about the future with the realization that next year will be the first year that we don't have an obligation to stay in Portland. We will have both finished our educations here, and by the time next summer roles around, we will both have very portable job possibilities. Our path is open to go or do whatever we want. We are so excited to see what will come of this soon-to-be new season of our life. We're daydream believers.

For now, we are trying to remain joyful as we push through these next seven months until our dreams begin to flesh themselves out. And we are appreciating sunny fall days and spontaneous family dates.

Only Treats

2011-11-01T23:12:00.000-07:00

Our Hallowee[kend] was full of all treats and no tricks. Well, maybe there was that one trick when Piper answered the door to give candy to a kid dressed as a skeleton. She got scared and made her Grandpa Mark hold her for over an hour. But I think that actually ended up being a treat for both of them. :)

"Piper, what was your favorite part of Halloween?"

"Holding my BIG bag of candy."

Of course.

We hope you had a happy Halloween! More on our weekend treats to come.

Love,

Bryce, Emily, and Cinderella

A [Phone]nd Farewell

2011-10-28T17:16:00.000-07:00

Yep, believe it or not, I have been using that massive phone for the past 10 months. Isn't it hilarious? I seriously had people ask me if it was a cordless house phone almost every week. I had a nicer phone before this, but I dropped it and didn't want to buy a new one. This was Bryce's phone from 2006. We still had the charger for it, so I just put my SIM card in it and called it good. Not only was this phone huge, but it was painfully slow. I'm not one to use my phone for much other than basic texting and calling, so I didn't mind much. But, when the time came for Bryce to upgrade to an iPhone 4S, I jumped on the chance to inhert his iPhone 4. Yesterday, I got everything switched over to the new phone and said a fond farewell (or a [phone]nd farewell...hardy har) to the old brick.

In order to use the new phone, I had to get a new phone number (if I contact you often I will text it to you once I get all my numbers transferred). I feel so stupid saying this, but this was way weirder than I thought it would be. I had my old phone number since the day I got my first phone as a 14-year-old. That was the number from which I called my high school friends for rides before I could drive. That was the number dialed by the first boy to ever call me asking for a date. That was the number I was called on to be told that my dad passed away. That was the number I used to call home with when I went away to college. That was the number that Bryce sent sweet texts to when we were dating. That was the number I used when he and I spent hours on the phone talking about getting married. That was the number we used to tell people that I was pregnant with Piper.

I'm making this sound way more dramatic than it is. It is just weird that it isn't my phone number anymore. That number facilitated all of my telephone conversations for the past 10 years. And I guess my phone number was one thing that hadn't changed when it seemed like everything else had. But now it has also changed. And it is just weird. Good, but weird. That's all.

I Hear the Drizzle of the Rain

2011-10-24T17:11:00.000-07:00

When I was 15, I heard a friend whistling a pretty melody. I asked him what song it was and he said "It's a song by Simon and Garfunkel." To which I replied, "Who?". He laughed and simply said, "They're so good. You've got to listen to them." The next time I saw him, he handed me a copy of "Simon and Garfunkel's Greatest Hits."

I listened to it once. And then I listened to it again. Pretty soon I was listening to it all the time. I was totally sucked in. I had never heard such soft and elegant music before. Not to mention how cool I thought it was that they had a song with my name in the title (Who doesn't love that?). Little did I know listening to them would inspire my love of folk rock that now extends to so many other bands including Iron & Wine, Ryan Adams, Sufjan Stevens, Gregory Alan Isakov, Alexi Murdoc, and others.

During that time, I had Simon and Garfunkel on the brain. When we were asked to write our first big research paper in high school, I picked them as my topic. I also put their songs on almost all the mixed cds I made. And I started noticing their music in movies. I resonated so well with this scene in Almost Famous. And who could forget this scene in Garden State?

Almost every fall I find myself listening to their music more often than usual. Something about the chill in the air and the changing leaves makes their sound ever sweeter. To top it off, they have the perfect song for a rainy morning. Grab a cup of apple cider, put on your warmest socks, and check them out.

Here's a video of them playing at Madison Square Garden in 2009, fifty plus years after they started writing, and they've still got it.

A Brother and a Sister

2011-10-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

If you know me very well at all, one thing you know is that I love my brother. In fact, it is hard for me to write this blog because there are so many incredible things I could say about him. I've written a post about him before. You can read it here (skip to the third paragraph). And you should read it, because if you don't know Steve, you are really missing out. And if you do know Steve, you know we could all use a little more of him in our lives.

Since I'm having a hard time coming up with just what to say to capture how much Steve means to me, I'm going to post a song instead. This song was first introduced to me by my friend, Zach, earlier this summer. The first time I heard it I got teary eyed and I have every time since. I wanted to share it with Steve right away, but decided to save it for a special occasion instead. So here it is today, on his 26th birthday. This is for every time we...

nearly died of laughter sitting around the dinner table

walked home from school together in the afternoons

played "guns" in the greenbelt across the street

argued over whether to watch X-Men or Sister Sister

sang "throw grandma off the cliff..." as dad drove us on scary mountain roads

danced to Hall and Oates

played "bomb"

successfully landed a plane in your F16 video game - you the pilot, me the air traffic control

played catch and knockout

tried to build the biggest jump when we went sledding

spent hours setting up Weapons and Warriors to rarely actually finish a game

stacked the couch cushions as high as possible and tried to jump over them

"a brother needs a sister to watch what he can do

to protect and to torture, to boss around it's true

but a brother will defend her, for a sister's love is pure,

because she thinks he's wonderful when he is not so sure."

Happy birthday, Steve! I love you so much!

Feeling Festive

2011-10-17T23:05:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like the feeling of coming out of a blustery, chilly fall day and into the warmth of a home. Candles lit. Dinner on the stove. Hugs.

The newlyweds had us over for dinner on Friday. It made me so happy to see the two of them together, thriving in the beginning of their life together. Kim made killer white chili for dinner and pumpkin cookies for dessert. Pair that with a glass of red wine and I was set.

Piper came dressed in her Halloween costume and was looking so cute it could break your heart (Thanks for the outfit, Grandma Kathy!). She loved scooping the slimy guts out of our pumpkin and she got away with "sneaking" a few more treats than usual out of the candy dish.

It was a close, cozy, calm night. We were all contentedly sleepy when we walked out the door. Nights like these convince me that I like these colder times of the year because they highlight the warmth we find when we come inside.

Keep it Simple

2011-10-09T21:48:00.000-07:00

I've started writing a few blogs since my last post, but either didn't complete them, or completed them and decided not to post them. Life has been heavy lately. I feel like a lot is changing. Some of it has already changed for the good. Some of it seems hard now, but I think could be really beautiful with time. Anyway, it is hard to explain and not really blog material. That's why I haven't posted any of the blogs that I've written the last few days. They are just too important to post on a blog. I try to keep things pretty simple here.

So, on the note of simplicity, I am going to share some of the more light-hearted, little things that I have been in enjoying...

Watching The Wonder Years

Listening to Gregory Alan Isakov

Starbuzz Fuzzy Lemonade Shisha

Pinterest and Spotify

Celestial Seasonings Chocolate Raspberry Bliss tea with cream

Making fall decorations with Piper. These are up next.

This series of youtube videos. The songs can be kind of stupid, but seeing him ride that freaking buffalo is so funny.

And these hilarious pictures from two years ago. This was Piper's first time eating solid food (other than rice cereal). Look at those cheeks!

Wild World

2011-10-04T22:07:00.000-07:00

Last week, Bryce and I traveled to Winter Park, Colorado. We went for a conference that was put on by John MacMurray, a professor of ours from Multnomah, who we now consider a friend. This wasn't just your typical conference, though. The group was small, about 18 people total, who all stayed in the same huge, beautiful house. We shared our whole lives for a week, learning from one another and growing together.

The speakers were amazing, accomplished, intelligent men. I will list them at the bottom of the blog along with the books that they have written in case you are interested in what they have to say. Some of our discussions were truly rich and life-changing. At times my eyes welled with tears at the way their words touched my heart and made me feel loved.

The most wonderful part of the weekend, however, was being with our closest friends. Paige and Trevor Maitland and Andrew and Gretchen King were able to go to the conference with us. I was so blessed by the time I had with them. All of us have gone through some very difficult situations throughout the last year, and it was good to be able to share our struggles. I love every single one of them so much. They are beautiful people who are working their way through this crazy life and turning to God for their hope. They are like my brothers and sisters and it is such a gift to have them in my life. On the way to the airport on Sunday to catch our flights home, Trevor played this song by Cat Stevens. As I listened to it, I couldn't help but think that the chorus was an expression of what we all have felt recently. And I have come to realize that I am literally at a loss for words trying to describe how grateful I am to endeavor through this wild world with such a rare and precious group of people.

The icing on the cake was that Colorado is gorgeous this time of year. The changing aspens are so vibrant that it looks like the mountains are on fire. I felt so refreshed breathing the crisp, cool air and taking in the astounding splendor of the Rocky Mountains. It made me miss living there. Hopefully I will again someday : ).

Here is a list of the speakers at the conference and some of the books that they have written if you are interested:

John MacMurray is a photographer, professor, and was the coauthor of To Own a Dragon along with Donald Miller (You can read an excerpt from that book by clicking on the link and then clicking on "Look Inside." There is a funny part about Bill Cosby as Heathcliff Huxtable).

Paul Young wrote the New York Times best-seller The Shack.

Dr. Baxter Kruger has written seven books including: The Great Dance: The Christian Vision Revisited, Jesus and the Undoing of Adam, and Across All Worlds: Jesus Inside Our Darkness.

and Dr. Roger Newell is a C.S. Lewis expert and authored The Feeling Intellect: Reading the Bible with C.S. Lewis, and Passion's Progress: The Meaning of Love.

Favorite Things - Larissa Gaul Guest Post

2011-10-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

I was really happy when I saw this guest post in my inbox. Larissa and I have been friends since our freshman year of high school. Through the years I have followed her on xanga and myspace, and have discovered that she is a talented writer. I even remember having sleepovers at her house during which she would stop in the middle of a story and say, "I wrote about this in my journal. Let me just read to you what I wrote. It will be easier to describe that way." Larissa, thanks for sharing your talent with us! Gustav is awesome and I am crossing my fingers in the hope of meeting him someday soon.

I haven't had him since he was a puppy, and I wasn't there for most of his growing up, but ever since he has climbed into the backseat of my 2-door Honda Civic, I have felt a connection with him. Gustav is a better example of unconditional love than anything else I have ever encountered. He laid his massive, square head on the center console of my car, big jowls flopping over the sides, and looked up at me. At that moment, tears started rolling down my cheeks because he was so beautiful. I am getting teary eyed now just remembering the first couple minutes we spent together; the only thing I can imagine that may be equivalent is when a mother first meets her child, and most people would say that I was being completely ridiculous to even compare the two. But that is only because they haven't met Gustav.

Since December 1^st almost two years ago now, he has been my constant companion and truly my best friend. When I was in school, I would go to my first class and then come back home to leash him up for a run. I was training for a half marathon, and he would start to dance around, hopping from foot to foot whenever I got out my running shoes, so there was no way I could say no. From chilly mornings when you could see both our breath in the air, to those sticky days when his tongue was waggling half a foot out of his mouth and dripping from the end like a hose that hasn’t been screwed properly into the faucet, he was with me. At night, when I had to study for exams, quizzes, and finals, he would lay quietly with me. I would spread all my notes out all over my bed or my couch, and he would sleep there, his head hung limply in my lap, warm and reassuring. He didn’t care if I studied all night and never turned off the light. When I slept, he was right there too, often with huge paw clasped across my back. Gustav has never, ever, woken me up the middle of the night for anything; he never even asks to go outside. He is always ecstatic to see me, whether I have been gone five minutes or five days. He loves to have a toy in his mouth when he greets me (something I think he picked up from my sister’s dog, who is part retriever). His very favorite toy is a red plush lobster, and having one shoved in your face in the morning (I call it “lobster delivery”) paired with a long, black, tail wagging so hard that it has the potential to disrupt the entire room, is the best way in the world to wake up, as far as I am concerned. When Gustav gets really excited, he jumps in the air with all four paws, and it is one of my all-time favorite things to witness.

Loving Gustav seems to be an infectious thing. Everywhere we go together, he gets attention. Children want their picture with him, the ice cream shop down the street makes him his own ice cream cone with a dog bone on top, and my current boss bought him an orthopedic dog bed that lies next to my desk so that he can come to work with me whenever he wants to. I swear someday I am going to log on the internet and find pictures of Gustav with random people that we have met around the neighborhood; I have had people pull over and get out of their cars to pet him, or run out of the shop where they are working to say hello. I have gotten him trained and certified as a therapy animal with an organization in Northern Colorado, and we go visit assisted living centers whenever we can. The residents have never seen anything like Gustav, and his gentle, laid-back nature is perfect for hanging out with an elderly crowd. I would be wealthy now if I had a dollar every time someone asked me if they could put a saddle on him, but seeing the way he makes people light up and smile is such a good feeling.

It has gotten to the point where I feel more comfortable when Gustav is around me, since I am so used to having him there. Taking care of him is not something that I consider a chore, and I cannot imagine my life without him. I have found a life soul mate in a 170-pound Great Dane. Truly, what I love the most in the world is my dog.

Favorite Things - Liza Pierce Guest Post

2011-09-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

I am very excited to post our first guest blog! Liza Pierce and I go to church together and started to get to know each other at a summer community group. She is smart, funny, and adds to conversation so well. She is a housing specialist at a behavioral health facility and I know she helps so many people in need daily. It has been a pleasure to get to know her. Check out her blog at http://ilovecoffeeandchocolate.blogspot.com/.

I was so happy when she decided to write a guest blog, and even happier when I read her amazing and touching review of her favorite book. Take it away Liza...

I used to lead a book club. For the last 9 months or so that we were in existence, we were reading our favorites. All the members had come together, bringing 3 or 4 personal favorites and then as a group we picked one from each person.

Our February 2011 book club read, My Name is Asher Lev, which was my favorite. Of the 3 that I had chosen to bring as favorites, this is the one I have the strongest emotional attachment to. I was nervous about it being the one we read because, as I explained to the group, we simply can’t stay friends if you read this and don’t love it. I can understand why some people would not love the other two I had suggested. But with Asher Lev, there is no excuse. You must love this book, or we just can’t talk anymore. Even after I gave this warning, this was the one the group chose.

That being said, it’s hard for me to tell you why I love it. And of course when we got together for our discussion, the first thing everyone wanted to know was why I love it so much. I think I’m able to explain it more one on one than with a group of people looking at me for an answer. My friend Paul and I had had at least 2, probably 3, conversations around the book, prior to the book club discussion, where I was able to actually dig into it and get at why I love it so much. But to state it to a group of people, or to try to explain it to those who haven’t read it, is difficult, if not impossible.

Chaim Potok was a genius of a writer. Unlike Asher Lev, I’m not an artist; I never had to rebel against my family or my faith to use my gifts; I don’t have parents who refused to support me when they didn’t understand me; I don’t have a Rebbe or any other human spiritual leader who orders the direction of my life. Yet somehow I still connect with Asher, even as he goes through these things I will most likely never experience. Something about him grabs hold of me when he is a child in chapter one and simply refuses to let go when he is an adult and the last page is turned.

I first read this book almost 5 years ago. I was living near Chattanooga, TN at the time, where I grew up, and I was book shopping with my favorite friend David at McKays, which is a used book store there. David did what he used to do frequently there: picked a book off the shelf, put in my hand and said “You have to read this.” Sometimes he bought them for me. Other times he made me buy them. I don’t remember who paid for Asher Lev, but I know that I left with it that day. I also know that David has yet to steer me wrong on book recommendations.

I remember exactly where I was when I finished it that first time. I was house sitting for the parents of another friend in North Chattanooga; it was winter, I was reading in bed and when I finished I cried myself to sleep. Not sobbing or weeping. Silent crying, large tears that fell individually as I felt heaviness in my chest.

In the almost five years since then, I have often been in the midst of groups of people when something has made me think of this book and I automatically put my hand on my heart when I bring it up. Every single time I mention it, someone else in the room (who is not usually part of my conversation) has overheard me reference it and has leaned in said “Oh I love that book.” It’s not just me that has this attachment to it. For many people, it is a book that permanently attaches itself to your heart.

When I re-read it in February, I took it pretty slow. I felt like I was casually hanging out with an old friend and we just needed to sit and talk for a while to catch up. I read a little bit daily. I savored every word. And then I got to the last 40 or so pages, where the entire story has led to and so much is about to happen…and I stopped. I couldn’t pick it up. It sat on the table for days. My roommate Chris asked several times if I was going to finish it before the book club discussion. I said I wasn’t sure. Even though I knew exactly what was going to happen, how it would end, I just wasn’t ready for it. I think I didn’t want Asher to leave my life again.

Eventually I did finish it. And it was as heart breaking and moving as it was the first time. The book club group came over, we had a good discussion about it, and I was able to stay friends with everyone because they all really connected with it (or at least no one told me if they didn’t, possibly out of fear of me kicking them out of my house?). Then Paul and I went to eat afterward and talked about it again. And we still have plans to talk about it with a couple of others who couldn’t come to the group, even though it’s been many months since we all finished it for the first or second time.

Even in trying to write a blog post about it, I haven’t been able to tell you why I love it so. I don’t know how to explain it. Read it and then let’s go have dinner and talk. It’s easier that way, and I’m sure we’d have a lovely discussion.

End on a Good One

2011-09-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was my final weekend of summer break. That's right. Today was my first day of school (more thoughts on this later). Although it was tinged with a bit of sadness to see my break end, it was really a great weekend.

Friday night we went to a women's volleyball match. My mother-in-law is the coach at a local university and the games are so fun. I'm not a huge sports fan, but I actually look forward to fall so I can go to these games. Volleyball is such a quick, high energy sport and my mother-in-law's team puts up a good battle. They are going to be good this year. I always want to play volleyball (or wallyball!) after ever game I watch. Who's up for it?

Saturday night Bryce and I got to go on a double-date with our friends Matt and Lisa Tamura. Matt and Bryce are both pro poker players and both won a drawing at the casino for tickets to an Oregon Ducks viewing party at the Bing Lounge. The lounge was cool, the free food and beer were decent, but the company is what truly made the night. The Ducks pulled off a quick lead so at half time we headed to The Observatory. This is a go-to for Bryce and I because it has good prices, a great happy hour, and delicious food and drinks. On Saturday, Matt and Lisa convinced us to try their favorite Observatory cocktail, a drink called the Tom Kah. Read those ingredients! It was all kinds of spicy and sweet goodness.

Today was my first day of class. I'm glad I got to spend my last weekend of break having fun with my family and new friends. My feelings about starting back to school are very mixed and, if I have time, I will write more about them tomorrow. Right now I am thinking that my alarm is going to go off far too soon. Goodnight!

Favorite Things - GUEST POST - Introduction

2011-09-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

Introducing the first guest posting opportunity on The Ham(bulletin)! I am going to be away from my computer for a few days next week, but I still want to post new posts. So, I want to extend the invite for you, the reader, to become the writer. And I want you to write about one of your favorite things.

What I find in Portland a lot is that people say they like these obscure restaurants, movies, bands, fashion trends, etc. not because they actually like them, but because liking them is "cool." Do you know what I mean? It is like I hear people talking about how much they love this or that, but then if I were to ask them why they love it, they wouldn't know what to say. I'm tired of people saying they like certain things, when really they only want people to think they're hip for liking it. Does that make sense?

So, in light of this I'd love to hear about something you love AND why you love it. It could be anything...a song, a book, an actor, a food, a product, a TV show. The post can be whatever you like it to be - long or short, funny or serious. I just want to hear from you! And I think the rest of my readers would find it interesting as well. I'd love to get a lot of submission and be able to post some next week and also periodically throughout the next few months. Hopefully by the end of the series we will have a list of awesome things that we can all learn to enjoy.

To submit a guest post, write up your post and email it to me at emilyhambelton@gmail.com. I will email you back letting you know when you can expect your post to be posted. Also, if we are friends on Facebook I will probably tag you with a link to your post, unless you request otherwise.

To give you a picture of who you would be writing to: I get about 1,000- 2,000 hits a month. I have no way of knowing who in particular reads my blog unless they leave me comments here or on FB. I think most of my readers are my facebook friends, but I know I have a few anonymous readers as well (hey there anonymous readers!). I also know that my readers range from teenagers to senior citizens. But don't let that change your writing. Write about what you like! I am eager to hear! Also, if you have a website you would like me to link back to when I post your writing, send it to me in an email so readers can check out your corner of the internet as well!

I'd like to start posting these next week, so it would be great to get some submissions in over the weekend (no rush though :). Happy writing!

K&K Wedding Week

2011-09-19T17:25:00.000-07:00

What.A.Week. It has been quiet over here on The Ham(bulletin) because we have been busy celebrating Kyle and Kim DODRILL'S wedding!

The celebrations started two Saturdays ago with a bbq for the groomsmen (the bachelor party was already celebrated a few weeks ago) and a bachelorette party for all of us girls who love Kim! We had such a fun night! It started with a lingerie shower for Kim at her sister's house that was full of ohhhhing and ahhing and, of course, tons of giggling. Then it was out to Departure, an Asian restaurant on top of The Nines hotel. This was one of the coolest places I have ever been. It is very modern (almost futuristic...in Katrina's words, "I feel like I'm standing in line for Space Mountain!"). The restaurant also had a balcony that overlooked Pioneer Square, which this city girl thought was pretty rad. After Departure we went to Barrel Room, a dueling piano bar with an outside club-like dance area. Cue hours of dancing.

During the week I spent some time putting the finishing touches on the slideshow I made for Kim and Kyle's ceremony. I loved seeing all the pictures of K&K growing up, especially the pictures of Bryce and Kyle when they were little. So cute. I uploaded the slideshow to youtube and you can watch it here if you are interested.

Friday was the rehearsal dinner, which is one of my favorite parts of the whole wedding celebration. There was so much excitement in the room. When I asked Kim and Kyle how they were holding up on Friday night they both said, "I just can't wait to get things started!". During the dinner, all of the bridal party shared a memory of Kim and Kyle or a little word about why we think they are going to be good spouses. I had to leave early to pick my mom up from the airport, so I only heard a couple people talk, but I'm sure it was a very special time of honoring Kim and Kyle.

Saturday was THE DAY. All of us girls arrived at our hotel room to get ready at 9 AM. The morning was full of hugs, laughter, excited "IT'S FINALLY HERE!"s, dancing, singing, anticipation, and happy tears. Around 1PM, Kim put her dress on. When we finally saw her all put together, we were blown away. She looked sooooo stunning!

Eventually we all got our pictures taken, loaded up cars, and headed to the church. The ceremony was beautiful. I cried five times: once when I first saw Kyle standing at the end of the aisle looking so happy, once when Bryce and Piper walked down the aisle, once when Kim walked down the aisle to this song, once when I saw the huge grin on Kyle's face during the vows, and once when they took communion. Weddings always make me think of this, and I can't help but cry with joy.

In no time at all, Kim and Kyle were announced as husband and wife and the party started! The reception was at the Hilton in Vancouver, WA. Kim put her amazing interior design skills to work, and made the ballroom look amazing. We dined, we drank, we danced. It was such an awesome party, as weddings should be. I know Kim and Kyle had a great time, and at the end of the night, the only thing to be sad about was that the party didn't last another week longer!

This past week has been so fun. Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Dodrill! You're marriage was (and will always be) something to truly celebrate.

MFNW - Band of Horses

2011-09-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

It is so appropriate that we went to the Band of Horses show on Sunday because if I had to pick one band to mark this summer with, it would be them. They have been my band of choice for listening to in the early morning out on the balcony, or heading to the pool on hot afternoons, or driving with the windows down on warm summer nights. I just started listening to Band of Horses earlier this year, but they have quickly climbed into my top 15 bands.

I like so much about their music. I love their style - lots of good guitar riffs and melodies that you can't help but want to sing along with. Their lyrics can be fun and light hearted, or powerful and moving. But, what I think sets BoH apart is Ben Bridwell's voice. I read an article that described it as "haunting," and I can totally see what they mean by that. It is so clear and just... pretty. He sounds great live, too. Bryce and I kept joking that he had to be lip syncing.

The show was awesome. They may sound the best live of any band I've ever seen. I think they are just really talented musicians. They played in Pioneer Courthouse Square under a nearly full moon and in the shadow of skyscrapers. I'll post a video of it that I found on youtube below. You can see the courthouse in the background. I really enjoyed seeing the show in this setting.

I also enjoyed the company! We hung out all day with our friends the Bedells (see here, here, and their actual website here) and then met up with Andrew King and Stephanie Melzer (a friend of mine from high school) at the show. Stephanie and I were in theater together and have shared a lot of good times laughing at the silliest things, a trait that we still maintain. Stephanie just moved to Oregon for optometry school, and I hope to be seeing more of her soon. The Bedells are the perfect mix of fun and serious. We spent over 12 hours with them that day and I enjoyed every minute of it. And Andrew is always up for a good time.

I think it is safe to say that Sunday is fairly high on my list of best days this summer!

Thanks again, Bryce, for making my birthday special with a great time at MFNW!

MFNW 2011 - Brand New

2011-09-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

Bryce and I have a tradition that instead of buying each other birthday presents, we go do something fun together. For my birthday this year, Bryce bought us tickets for the four-day-long Music Fest North West. On Thursday, Brand New played at the Wonder Ballroom. Unlike most other MFNW shows, this one was first come first served, so Bryce and I, along with our friend Andrew, waited in line for about four hours to get in. It sounds boring, but between playing cards, buying tacos from the near by food cart, and talking, the time flew by.

Bryce and I both started listening to Brand New in high school. They were a young band who wrote honestly about the issues that young people deal with. Bryce and I can both point to certain songs of theirs and say, "I remember listening to this song over and over when ________" and fill in the blank with things like "I rode in this person's car," or "this person moved away," or on and on. Their early albums seemed to hit the nail on the head of what it was like to be a teenager/young adult, with all the angst, curiosity, and emotion that goes along with it.

As the band matured, so did their music. Their two newest albums have very different sounds and themes than their prior albums. It's my opinion that their newer music is much more well crafted and a lot deeper. I like that their music has changed with me...out of my teenage phase and into adulthood.

The band has an early song about wanting to stay 18 forever and it states, 'You're just jealous cause we're young and in love." At the show on Thursday, the lead singer, Jesse Lacey, changed the lyric to, "I'm just jealous cause you're young and in love." The crowd seemed bummed out by him singing the song this way, but I appreciated it. Brand New has grown out of the teenage stage and has been willing to change. It would be weird if they, as mid-30-year-olds, were still writing and singing like they were 18 (It's like Sammy says in The Wedding Singer, "I grew up idolizing guys like Fonzie and Vinnie Barbarino because they got a lot of chicks. You know what happened to Fonzie and Vinnie Barbarino?...Their shows got canceled. Because no one wants to see a fifty-year-old guy hitting on chicks." ). Brand New, along with most of their audience, has ended one era and started a new one.

So, all in all, what I'm trying to say is that I appreciate Brand New for...

A. Writing music in the past that felt so relevant to my life as a teenager and that I will always love to listen to with happy nostalgia.

and

B. Not being afraid to mature and develop as a band. I am guessing it is a tricky thing to do because few bands do it successfully.

and

C. Playing a sweet show. Definitely worth waiting in line for.

P.S. At the show they added a bit from "Trailer Trash" by Modest Mouse onto the end of their song "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot." Bryce and I were pretty stoked about it.

One Year

2011-09-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

I just want to say a huge, "Thank you!" to Bryce who has just completed his first year of making a living playing poker. Here is a little info about Bryce's life as a pro poker player...

Bryce started playing poker in late high school/early college when he and his friends used to go to the casino on weekends and play for fun. Bryce saw an opportunity for making money and started reading tons of poker books and playing online. During college, Bryce logged thousands of hours playing online poker as his means of making extra spending money. After a while, he stopped because he got interested in some other things. For the first 2.5 years we were married, Bryce had a job processing construction documents at a roofing company. However, last summer he decided to call it quits. The weekend he quit, we hung out with our friends Kim and Kyle. When we told them that he quit, Kyle joked, "Well, you could always start playing poker again!" I laughed and said, "Kyle, don't joke about that because he will take it seriously." Sure enough, a few days later Bryce was making excel spreadsheets, drafting budgets, and writing me letters about why he thought he could really make a living playing poker and what sorts of limits he would have so that things never got out of hand. After much convincing, we agreed that he could play for three months and then we would sit down and seriously evaluate whether or not poker was a viable option. Now, here we are, a year later...

Bryce plays live limit Texas Hold 'Em. He plays in the 10-20, 15-30, or 30-60 games, which has something to do with the min/max bet you can make, but I couldn't explain the specifics. During my school year he played about 30 hours a week so that he could watch Piper while I was at school. Over the summer, he tried to average 50-70 hours in order to store up some money for when he has to play fewer hours during the school year.

Bryce, of course, has winning nights and losing nights. He even has winning months and losing months. However, when you play limit Hold 'Em, there is always a best bet to make. Bryce has a seriously incredible mind and his brain works lightning fast at the poker table. He can figure out the odds based on the cards he is holding, the cards on the table, and the number of players in the hand, and then he can decide whether or not he should raise, call, check, or fold. That doesn't mean that the odds will play out in every hand, but if he makes good bets, over time he should come out ahead. This takes much mental effort, and I have no idea how he does it for 50+ hours a week.

Bryce has started coaching a friend in poker. We went over to their house for lunch the other day and I joked with his wife that I was going to write a book called, "The Diary of a Poker Wife." Bryce is always honest with me about what he wins or loses, which I love. But, I have had to learn to not let the day-to-day wins and losses toy with my emotions. I have taught myself to think about money with more of a long-term perspective and view his losses more like "business expenses".

I am also curious to see how I would do at the poker table now, after a year of hearing Bryce explain thousands of different hands...."I have AK off suit preflop. Bets get capped three ways. Flop comes 2 of diamonds, jack of spades, king of hearts. The first guy limps under the gun. The next two players raise. I call on the button and both the blinds fold. Turn is a 10...". I'm sure I would be awful, but at least maybe I could "talk" poker with the people at the table and get away with it. :)

But in all seriousness, as funny as it sounds, Bryce playing poker has really been a blessing. It would have been 100 times harder for me to go to school if Bryce was working a 9-5 job. I've also enjoyed that Bryce has been able to take vacation days without having to worry about getting time off. Poker has worked well for our family and I am so grateful for Bryce who is willing to put so much effort and time into making money to support Piper and I.

In Bryce's words, "Making money playing poker is better than any regular job I could have, but that doesn't mean that it is easy. It takes a lot of self discipline and the ability to use logic to overcome your emotions."

P.S. I can't resist posting this.

Old Friends in New Places

2011-09-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

I got to see two high school friends this week. Time I get to spend with them is rare and very special to me.

I saw Brianne on my trip to Seattle, where she now lives. We met up at Lake Union Park and then walked to Nikerson's where Brianne bought me dinner for my birthday. After dinner, we hung out at her house, and then she drove me to where I was staying, about 20 minutes away. Our time together reminded me of how generous Brianne is...

"Raising" the bridge.

Brianne and I became friends our Freshman year of high school through our mutual friends Larissa and Julie. Bri and I both took an acting class in our spring semester and began to grow close. She was always the person that I could spend time with doing the craziest, stupidest things and end up having the best time. She got her driver's license six months before I did and spent so much gas driving me around, without ever acting like it was a hassle. She always gave me rides to and from school, play practice, and friends' houses. Some of my best memories from high school are driving around in her black SUV with the disco ball hanging from the rear-view mirror. I still remember the songs we would listen to :). Almost every semester of early high school we had the same lunch hour and that time was always spent blasting music and laughing (Tru Dog). Junior year she and I both started dating a couple of our other friends and together we became four best friends. We spent an insane amount of time together in which the fun days seemed to last forever and go by too quickly at the same time.

When I think of my friendship with Brianne, it will always be characterized by two things. The first is how giving of a friends she is. Like I said, she was always happy to drive me around, or listen when I needed to talk, or, to this day, buy me birthday dinners The second is how crazy and fun she is. While in Seattle, she and I both talked about how we used to spend our time together in the weirdest ways - always dancing, rolling down hills, talking in funny accents, ice-breaker theater games - and how we've never found friends who are as comfortable around each other and flat out goofy as our friends in high school were. We both came to the conclusion that we probably never will. I miss you, the "C"!

John passed through Portland twice this week while on vacation. During the time he was here we got pizza on Belmont, scored 280 tickets at Wunderland arcade, bought new shoes at Crossroads (not the Britney Spears movie :), hung out at Jamison fountain, got beer at Bridgeport, had brunch at Helser's, and bought Zombie Dice at Things From Another World.

John and I became friends gradually during our early years of high school thanks to being in plays together. During the last couple years before graduation, he was one of my closest friends. He was the vocalist for a ska band that a bunch of our friends were in. I was always so excited to go to their shows. John also got a moped our senior year and on one of the first nights he had it, he showed up at my house so he could drive me around. I can still remember how nice the summer air felt as we cruised along. John and I went on to live in the same dorm during our freshman year at UNC. John was really great about finding fun places and people in our small college town. We discovered a place called The Beetle that was owned by a church who opened it up for art shows and concerts. John and I attended a couple shows there, and he played in some of them. He made my time in Greeley so much better in so many ways. Even simple trips to the grocery store were more fun with him around.

John is really great about making the best of his surroundings. He is always finding something new to love about where he lives and who he is with. He is a loyal friend and has shown me a lot of care during some unexpected times. He has been able to visit Portland twice and I am so happy I've had the chance to show him around.

2 high school friends in 1 weekend? Awesome!

Let's Eat - Summary

2011-09-01T07:28:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post one last LE blog as a way of referencing all the previous posts quickly and easily. LE consists of 6 primary posts:

This post was a general introduction to the series and talked about how the focus should be getting healthy, not simply getting thin.

This post talked about how a frequent problem with people's eating habits is not the quantity of food they eat but the quality. It also discussed "exception scenarios."

This post was about increasing protein.

This post discussed what kind of carbs should be eaten and what kinds should be avoid or limited.

This post involved replacing sugar and high fructose corn syrup with natural sweeteners.

Lastly, this post talked about a couple issues surrounding nutrition during pregnancy and post-pregnancy.

The support you all have shown me during this series has been awesome. I hope you have found at least some of this information beneficial. Ever person is vastly different, so personalize the above advice in a way that works for you. Thanks for reading! I have another blog series idea brewing in my brain...stay tuned to see if it comes to fruition.

Celebrating in Seattle

2011-08-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

Piper and I went on a quick trip to Seattle this weekend for Kim's second bridal shower. Kim went to college in Seattle and developed a large group of friends who wanted to celebrate with her. The shower was thrown by Kim's best friend, Heather, and was held at 520 Bar and Grill in Bellevue. We sat on the patio and enjoyed beautiful weather and a delicious brunch. But what was most enjoyable was seeing how much Kim's friends love her. There was so much laughter, excitement, and encouragement for the bride-to-be. I'm glad I got to be a part of this special moment in Kim's life.

I can't wait for Kim and Kyle's wedding day to arrive. They love each other so much. Kyle once told me that this song always makes him think of Kim. While I'm not ususally much of a DMB fan, watching him listen to it and smile is one of the sweetest things. I can't imagine what the look on his face will be like when they get married. Less than 3 weeks away!

*Special thanks goes out to Kim Dodrill who drove us to Seattle and back and to Shawn Rauscher who let us spend the night in her home.

Mad Men

2011-08-28T14:22:00.000-07:00

I finished watching the first four seasons of Mad Men this week. I will say flat out that it was an amazing show. Everyone always raves about the 1960's style, which is awesome, but what I think is even better is the writing and direction. I often found myself smirking at very profound moments of dialog or symbolism. The whole show made me reflect on what life may have been like in the 1960s and the ways that it is similar and different now.

While I definitely recommend the show, Mad Men was certainly not one of the most enjoyable shows to watch. The subject matter was often depressing and the plot dragged on occasion. Additionally, while I cared about the characters, none of them were totally likeable. I think this makes the show more realistic and that it is a sign good writing. However, it furthers the frustrating and depressing themes...not unlike real life. :)

I'll leave you with this. Thre were two very powerful quotes that I think sum up many of the themes of Mad Men and are true of real life as well.

"We're flawed, because we want so much more. We're ruined, because we get these things, and wish for what we had. " - Don Draper

"Nobody knows what's wrong with themselves. Everyone else can see it right away." - Stephanie

Unglamorous Beautiful Things

2011-08-22T15:38:00.000-07:00

When I used to picture what being "23" would be like, it was nothing like this. I thought I'd be engaged/newly married, have a degree, and that a baby would still be four or five years in the future. Instead I've been married for three and a half years, am still fighting to graduate, and have a two year old. I feel lucky to be where I am. My life is very full. But while there are unbelievable ups, there are also downs. I do not want to sound like I'm complaining. I am glad about where my life is. All I am trying to say is that looking back over this past year, my life is a lot less glamorous and a lot more difficult than I imagined it to be. Most of the time that I didn't spend studying looked a lot like this...

At points I feel like I kind of "skipped" my youth. While Bryce and I try hard to get out, have social lives, and enjoy our city, it is more difficult to do that with all of the responsibility we have. I took this picture the other day, and then laughed as I told one of my friends, "That picture says so much about my life."

Sometimes I get frustrated. This past year was insanely straining on my relationship with Bryce as we adjusted to me going back to school and him playing poker professionally. It doesn't take much for us to be at each other's throats. And while Piper is an amazing little girl, motherhood can be very isolating. On top of that, all of the responsibilities of being an adult, a wife, a mom, and a student can get so old. I know that none of these issues are really that big of problems, but they have a way of making life seem like futile drudgery.

But if there is anything that I've learned from being alive for 23 years it is that life is full of various seasons. Some seasons are sunnier than others. This past year has been one of the dimmer seasons. But in all of this...in the times that I am so sick of doing chores, past my limit with Piper, and at the point where all Bryce and I have to do is look at each other wrong and we tear each other to pieces... it is good to be here.

The other day I was sharing my frustrations with a friend and he said, "Emily, that's sanctification." The thing that I need to remind myself of over and over again is that all this struggle is shaping me. Slowly but surely, my impatience, my selfishness, my narcissism, my flakiness are all being chipped away. It is when people are uncomfortable that they are changed. While this stage of life is anything but easy, at least I'm not stagnant. I'm thankful that I'm uncomfortable enough that I am maturing. When I think about the past four years since Bryce and I got engaged (to the day, actually), I am amazed at how much I've grown up. I know that the life I have lived has been the best life for me. Not that I've enjoyed it the most of all my possible lives, or that it has been the smoothest course, but that it has made (and will continue to make) me better. As I look toward the future, I know that good things will come out of the friction I face now. But I can't help but agree with CS Lewis when he says, "We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

So, while 23 may not be as exciting of an age for me as it is for my peers, it will be forever valuable, come what may. It won't be easy, but the best things in life never are. The song posted in the video below has been on my mind a lot recently. It recenters me and reminds me that God is forming me into something more beautiful so that I can in turn be a part of his plan to make all things new.

"And he knew, in some mysterious way that would be hard to explain, that everything was going to be more wonderful for once having been so sad. And he knew then that the ending of The Story was going to be so great, it would make all the sadness and tears and everything seem like just a shadow that is chased away by the morning sun." - Sally Lloyd-Jones

23rd Birthday

2011-08-21T12:09:00.000-07:00

I love having a summer birthday. Grilling, swimming, going out with friends, and staying up late - this is my favorite time of year to celebrate. Thanks so much to everyone who made my birthday special. More thoughts to come on turning 23.

LE - Pregnancy and Post-Pregnancy

2011-08-17T13:53:00.000-07:00

This is one of my last "Let's Eat" posts. I've been harping on nutrition so much, and I want to lighten this up a bit by posting this video. It is so true, relevant to "Let's Eat", and so funny...

That whole stand-up act is hilarious and you can see other bits of it on youtube. I definitely recommend it.

In this post I want to talk about nutrition during pregnancy and post-pregnancy. I don't know much about this, but there are a couple things I want to share that helped me deliver a healthy baby and then lose weight after. But the first thing I want to say is talk to your doctor! Don't go off of what I write here if his/her recommendations are contradictory. Clearly doctors know more about this than I do. Also, I want to say that if you are eating healthy pre-pregnancy, listen to "what your body tells you". Let your hunger dictate when and how much you eat. Don't get too caught up in the numbers that I write below.

That said, I want to say that what helps you return to your normal weight fastest after your pregnancy is to not gain too much weight during your pregnancy. I am not, by any means, saying that pregnancy is a time to skimp on food! It is important that you and your baby are getting enough calories. However, the phrase, "You're eating for two," is a little misleading. True, you are nourishing two people when you are pregnant, but keep in mind that second person is very little. Your baby does not need as many calories as a full-grown person. In fact, most doctor recommend only increasing your calorie intake by about 300 calories during the first two trimesters and 400-500 during the third. Many women use pregnancy as an excuse to "let go" and eat whatever quality and quantitiy of food they want. This is dangerous and can have very negative effects on the mother and baby. Contrarily, I would encourage you to maintain your healthy eating habits and simply add a little bit more to your daily intake such as one extra sandwich or a couple extra snacks. Don't let your extra calories come from sugar and junk. Think about what you eat and whether it will benefit you and your baby or not.

I say all this because it is so common now a days for women to gain way too much weight during their pregnancies. This not only results in more weight to lose after the baby is born, but increases the possibility of pregnancy complications and more difficult deliveries. I gained 25 lbs during my pregnancy, which was just about right for a person my size. This is a good article for referencing how much weight you should expect to gain during a healthy pregnancy. However, I will say that many women eat healthily during their pregnancies and still gain over the suggested amount. So, keep in mind that optimum nutrition for you and your baby is the goal, not staying within a certain weight range.

As far as nutrition and weight loss after delivery goes, I want to say a couple things. The first is that breastfeeding is not only beneficial for your baby, but also beneficial for you. I understand that a lot of women don't breastfeed for a variety of reasons and I respect that. However, it can be very helpful in losing pregnancy weight. My sister and I were joking that, "It literally sucks the fat out of you!". As I said, I gained 25lbs during my pregnancy. Piper weighed just over 7 lbs, and at the time of delivery the amniotic fluid and placenta are thought to weigh about 10 lbs. This means that I only had about 8lbs to lose. I am almost positive it all melted off within the first month or two of breastfeeding without me putting in any other effort to lose weight.

Finally I want to encourage you to pay attention to what you feed your kids once they eat solids. This is important for a couple reasons. First, obviously your child's nutrition is your responsibility and how you feed them now will impact the way they grow and develop their own eating habits. A friend once gave me some advice that really impacted how I feed Piper. She said that she always started her kids on the "plain" or sugar-less versions of food. As a result, her kids preferred sugar-less foods when they were older. She encouraged me that the "sugar addiction" (as we talked about in the previous LE post) can be avoided in childhood, especially if you start your kids on sugar-less food while they are young. I took this advice and I know that Piper loves "plain" yogurt and thinks the flavored stuff is gross. She also prefers raw nuts to honey roasted. She developed a taste for more natural things, which will be so helpful to her throughout her life.

Feeding your kids healthily is also important for your nutrition. As someone once told me, "You will eat what your kids eat." I have found this to be so true. Piper and I always eat the same things for our meals and I constantly find myself eating the snacks I pack in her diaper-bag when we are out and about. If you regularly feed your kid mac-and-cheese, spaghetti o's, fruit snacks, and candy, be prepraed to be eating those things yourself. As I said in the second post of this series, healthy eating starts at the grocery store, so pay attention to how you stock your cupboards.

Rebounding from having a baby is definitely more difficult for someone women than others. However putting what I wrote above into practice may help. In America it is a common idea that women usually stay fat after they have a baby. But, in many other countries and throughout history this has not always been the case. A woman's body is designed amazingly to carry a baby and to recover quickly afterward. Pregnancy is a natural, beautiful, temporary state that should not make women fat for the rest of their lives. So if you are hoping to have a baby someday, are pregnant, or are a new mother, know that pregnancy is not necessarily a death sentence for your figure and that eating nutritiously is very beneficial for you and your family.

I hope this helps! There is only one more post left in this series and I am suspecting I will post it over the weekend. Thanks for reading.

Kim Loves Kyle...

2011-08-15T15:43:00.000-07:00

...and we're all so happy about it.

Kim, you looked beautiful yesterday. As we learned, it has been over 240 days since you got engaged. And now here we are, a month away from your wedding. I can hardly wait.

Kim loves Kyle, Kyle loves Kim, and we love both of them!

The Fruit and the Thorns

2011-08-13T17:42:00.000-07:00

Blackberry briars grow wild in Oregon. Piper and I went to my in-laws and picked berries under the shade of my favorite oak tree. Since the sun hasn't been out much this summer, the berries weren't as ripe as I expected them to be. We'll be back out there next week when more are ready. None the less, we picked a good amount, even though more made it into our mouths than into our bags.

The briars got me thinking about life. Piper and I both pricked a finger or two on thorns and walked away with little holes in the fabric of our clothes. But the fruit was so sweet that it was worth it. I've realized that is how my relationship with Piper will be. With her as my daughter and me as her mother, our interactions are going to get complicated at times. We'll both be scratched. But the moments that we have together enjoying the fruit of our relationship will be so sweet. What comes from the struggles we will work through will be precious and priceless.

Piper is coming out of a difficult stage. I feel like we always have a harder time right before she makes a breakthrough. She potty trained herself this week and things have become much easier. She seems so much older now. I just can't believe how fast it is going. I realize I am way overdue for writing an update on her. Where does the time go?

Here is a little info on my girl:

We measured her for a flower girl dress for Kim and Kyle's wedding. She is a size 2T around the waist, but a size 4T in height. Who would have guessed that Bryce would have a tall, skinny kid?
She loves to make up songs that narrate what she is doing like, "I am picking up my toys, toys, toys, TOYS, TOYS!" (That was a crescendo at the end).
The other day we were counting together. She got a little confused and said, "Twenty eight, twenty nine, dorthy."
Bryce has been working a lot and she misses him. Every time he leaves or comes home, she gives him the longest, sweetest hugs.
If she had it her way, she would eat yogurt with blueberries for every meal. She calls them "bu-berries."

Mommy loves you, Piper. I am so proud of all the accomplishments you have made. I will always stay with you through the thorny parts of our relationship and will rejoice as our bond grows sweeter and sweeter.

Handmade and Homegrown

2011-08-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about how cool it is to support small business and community development a lot this week. My friend Paige posted this article from The Etsy Blog on Facebook a few days ago. Ever since I read it, I have been trying to think of various ways that I can spend my time and money differently in order to promote individuals or small businesses instead of national or global corporations. I've thought up a variety of ways to make my life and my possession more handmade, homegrown, and supportive of the entrepreneurship of my neighbors.

Entertainment:

I'll start with this category because it is probably my favorite to write about. Here are things I do/want to start doing more of that support my community and small businesses:

1. The Piano Fort is a new concert venue started by some friends from our church with the hope that they can host benefit concerts there multiple times a year. This not only supports local charities, but also local musicians. There is a show there tomorrow. Click on the link above for details. You can see a video of Marty Marquis from Blitzen Trapper perform at their last show here.
2. Since I have an audience of people from Colorado (where I grew up), I want to mention that three of my closest friends from high school started a comedy co-op in Denver. The group is designed to give local comedians the opportunity to perform their stand-up. The founders of the co-op are some of the funniest people I've ever met. I know that if you go to one of their shows, you won't be disappointed. Currently they are doing free monthly open mic nights. For more info click here.
3. Movies in the Park is sponsored by the city and is totally free. Thus, it is not supporting any small business. However, the movies are accompanied with performances by local bands or other performing groups. This gives the musicians the opportunity to get their name out to a large audience. On top of that, it is a great setting for spending time outside with people from the community.

Food:

1. The Portland Farmers Market is awesome. Enough said.
2. Coalition Brewing is one of the many little breweries around Portland. What I like about this one is that they have their Coalator Program in which they select homebrewers to help create recipes and make beers which are then served at the pub along with Coalition's other delicious barley pops. This is such a cool way to involve the community and help homebrewers learn.

Clothes:

When Paige posted the article above she wrote a comment with it that said, " ...I don't totally agree with everything she wrote. Regardless, I am convicted, and I am reminded of the value of a handmade thing, garments that are built to last, redeemed thrift store finds, and beauty that doesn't come from a store." Yes, Paige! I couldn't agree more. I am even further persuaded to change the way I shop after reading multiple articles about how national chains such as Urban Outfitters are accused of stealing ideas from designers at flea markets and on Etsy.

In light of this, I have two ways that I want to shop. The first way isn't much of a change since I thrift frequently, only now I want to all the more. Not only does thrifting save me money, but it also saves me from supporting shady national chains. The second way will be a big change for me. I want to start buying from independent designers and small business more frequently. This is a little intimidating for me, but I spent some time this week exploring smaller Portland boutiques and have found that many of them have great, affordable clothing (although I only can afford things that are on sale at some of them). I also recently discovered ModCloth, and have fallen head over heels for it. Their clothes (especially the dresses) are just my style and are made totally by independent designers. Rad. And, let's not forget about Etsy.

All of the Above:

Finally, for all of you Denverites, I want to mention that my cousin Andrea has helped start a business called Denver Go Local which sells a $10 card that gets you 12 months worth of deals at local businesses. Check it out! It is a great idea. And for all you Portlanders, Portland Go Local is coming soon!

Thanks for reading all of this. I was debating about posting it because I fear that my blog is starting to seem like all I do is give out advice. I don't want that, and I certainly don't want to come across like I think I do everything the right way. I just want this blog to be a place that I share about my life and some of the things I think about.

Today I ran into a friend working as the chef at a local cafe. It was cool to see him in his environment, making his living. I felt a lot better about giving the cashier my four dollars knowing that I was not only supporting a small, local business, but in turn, supporting my friend. For me, supporting independent business is not only about quality products, but also about the people who make them.

P.S. If you have suggestions for other independent businesses or community events that you enjoy, I'd love to hear them!

Jayme's Wedding

2011-08-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

Jayme and Mike got married about a week and a half ago. The wedding was awesome. It was held in a friend's beautiful backyard. Almost everything about the wedding was DIY and the result was a gorgeous, personalized, shabby-chic setting. Mason jars full of lemons and limes, burlap flags, white lights, candles...it was breathtaking. Andria Lindquist photographed the day and I can't wait to see how her pictures turned out. Since I didn't have my camera with me, I will post a link to her photos on this blog whenever they become available. When that happens I will also write more about the day of the wedding and why being a bridesmaid is so special.

For now, I wanted to share one of my favorite parts of the wedding. Jayme and Mike had a photobooth for all of their guests to get their pictures taken. There were chalk boards to write on and a bucket of props to use. As soon as you got your pictures taken, they printed out one copy for you to take home and another copy which they glued onto the page of a scrapbook. Then they had you write a little message next to your picture so that the scrapbook functioned as the guest book. It was such a good idea! The pictures are so fun. I will post a few below of people you may recognize.

I also wanted to mention that Bryce got a video of part of the processional which you can watch here. I asked him to record it, but he had to take care of Piper after she walked down the aisle as the flower girl, so unfortunately he didn't get any video of Jayme walking down. Sorry Jayme! I hope someone captured that for you. It was such a beautiful moment. But, I am glad that Bryce got this video of Piper so I can always remember how she refused to carry her basket of flowers and how she meandered along, somewhat distracted until she realized that Kim was holding candy for her at the end of the aisle. Then she took off running. It was cute.

Overall, the day was a big success. And as I said before, I will write more later. Congratulations to Jayme and Mike!

Me, Bryce, and the little flower girl

Connor and Kaley

Mark and Melanie

Kyle and Kim

Mom and John

Steve and Kelsey

Uncle Brent and Aunt Kim

And, of course, the happy couple! Mike and Jayme DUKART!

Let's Eat - Sweet Substitutes

2011-08-08T23:44:00.000-07:00

Hi readers. Thanks for being patient with me as I haven't cranked these "Let's Eat" post out as quickly as I thought I would. After this one, I think I have two more posts. I have really enjoyed this series and, again, am very grateful for all of your support.

Today's post, like the last "Let's Eat" post, may be a bit of a difficult step initially. However, I consider this the pièce de résistance of the way I eat. While I can't gaurantee you will lose weight if you make this change in your diet, I would be shocked if you didn't. On top of that, I definitely think it will make you feel more energetic and healthy overall. So what is it?

Stop eating sugar and high fructose corn syrup.

Before you have a conniption fit, let me explain a few things. First, when I say "sugar" I don't mean ALL sugars in the scientific sense of the word. There are sugars that are ok such as the natural sugars found in fruit. I mean the refined sugar that is found in sodas, cereal, baked goods, etc. I also want to say that I do all my shopping at WinCo (the cheapest grocery store in Portland). So don't jump the gun and think you'll have to run off to health food stores in order to do this. Remember that our focus is to be practical and sustainable. Not eating sugar/HFCS may seem impossible to you now, but hopefully by the end of this blog you will see that it is very doable.

So what's so wrong with sugar/HFCS?

If you go to the grocery store and scan the ingredient lables on many of the products, you'll find that sugar/HFCS has crept into so many foods. Juices, peanut butter, canned fruit...all chalk full of this junk. It is everywhere and I personally think that this is one of the main factors contributing to the obesity problem facing much of the western world.

Sugar/HFCS makes people fat in two ways. First, it is addicting. Sugar/HFCS is similar to drugs or alcohol in that you start to feel a need for it. Even though there is nothing nutritionally beneficial about sugar/HFCS, once your body is used to it, you start to crave it. This means that, even if you have eaten enough throughout the day, you may constantly feel unsatisfied until you eat sugar. How often do you find yourself feeling totally full from a meal but thinking, "I just need a little something sweet"? That is a good indicator that you are addicted to sugar.

I used to eat sugar all the time without realizing it. And even thought I felt "full" after meals, I remained unsatisfied. I still wanted to eat even though I wasn't hungry. It wasn't that my body actually needed more nutrients, it was that my body was craving more sugar. This caused me to spend long evenings fighting the urge to get a snack, reminding myself that I had already consumed enough, and, usually, breaking down and eating even though I wasn't hungry. Sound familiar?

Second sugar/HFCSs are "empty calories." I am sure many of your are familiar with this term so I won't talk about it too much. I want to say, however, that eating more empty calories causes you to eat fewer nutritious calories. This not only adds inches to your waist line, but deprives your body of the healthy energy it needs to operate efficiently. Did you know that in the clinical setting many overweight people are actually considered "malnourished", not because they are eating too little but because they have deprived themselves of nutritious food in place for empty calories? These people often complain of feeling lethargic and fatigued, which makes sense considering their bodies are not getting the fuel they need. Thus, eating sugar/HFCS not only makes people fat, it can also make them feel lazy.

Unfortunately, the negative effects of sugar/HFCS go beyond simply making people fat and lethargic. Because of the way sugar/HFCS is metabolized, some scientists blame it for an increase in metabolic syndrome, diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. Nutritionalists across the globe are beginning to call sugar/HFCS a "poison" or a "toxin" because of the multiplicity of negative effects it can have on the body (reference this article for an overview).

Phewww...that was a lot to say. Cutting out sugar/HFCS is a big change, but I hope with what I said above and any research that you do on your own, you will come to see that this change is so beneficial. And it really isn't as hard as it seems! Now let's talk about how to do it pracitally and sustainably.

The first thing that I want to say about this is that cutting out sugar doesn't mean cutting out sweet! The key to being successful at this is to learn how to replace sugar in a healthy way. There are many ways to sweeten your food that do not harm your body in the way that sugar/HFCS does. I'm not talking about artificial sweetners like splenda, however. I am talking about more natural sweetners such as:

Honey
Berries
Raisins
Organic dried fruit
Agave nectar
Cinnamon
Peanut butter

Let me give you some examples... Instead of buying sugary yogurt, I buy plain greek yogurt and sweeten it with honey and berries. Instead of putting brown sugar on my oatmeal, I put raisins, cinnamon, and peanut butter on it. Instead of baking with sugar, I use honey or agave nectar. I don't deprive myself of flavor, I just make my food taste good with natural, healthy, nutritious ingredients. As I have reduced my sugar intake, I have found that sugary foods that I used to find delicious now taste too sweet. I honestly prefer the more natural taste of things.

Which leads me to the idea that simply acquiring tastes for some items without sugar/HFCS is also an option. This may take a little time, but it could end up being worth it. For example, I now like my coffee and tea with cream only. I also have come to like taking shots or sipping bourbon instead of drinking super sugary mixed drinks. This is NOT a necessity for not eating sugar/HFCS, but it is helpful AND has provided me with some hobbies. Bryce and I (in a non-snobby way) have come to enjoy trying various coffees, liquors, wines, etc. This has allowed me to appreciate food in a healthy way, beyond simply liking it for the sugar "fix". Just an idea.

Finally, I want to say that there are a few items that you may have to dish out a TINY bit more money on to really stop eating sugar. Like I said, I still do all my shopping at WinCo. However, I spend a dollar more per loaf for Dave's Killer Bread and a dollar or so more for Adam's Peanut Butter. Sometimes I also spend a little more to get sugarless crackers and other grains. However, since I eat so little grain to begin with, this increase in cost is minuscule and the diet is still very practical and sustainable.

So, all of this is to say that I really encourage you to stop eating sugar/ HFCS in your home. I want to give a word of warning that as you make this change, you may go through a "withdrawal" period. This sounds extreme, but it is true. For example, I am coming to the close of a month full of vacationing in which I ate tons of sugar (remember our "exception scenarios"). Now, as I try to get back to my normal diet, I have had a headache off and on and have felt extra hungry. I've heard it said that it takes two full weeks to kick a sugar addiction, and that the first two days are particularly hard. However, once those two weeks are over, you won't miss it!

Stay strong and give it a shot! Like I said earlier, I can't make any guarantees, but I am sure that not eating sugar/HFCS will make you leaner and healthier. Why not try it out?

P.S. I hope I don't sound like the annoying lady on this commercial, but I definitely don't believe the message the Corn Refiners Association is trying to send. :) This SNL parody of the commercial is hilarious. Be sure to watch it all the way to the end.

Beaches and Berries

2011-08-05T22:58:00.000-07:00

We're back from spending most of the week at the coast. The days were full of kissing baby cheeks, sandy shoes, hand picked blackberries, board games, sweet treats, and campfires.

My family left for home today. I was very sad to see them go. I loved our time together. After they left I spent my day catching up on some much needed z's, restocking our fridge, unpacking, and flipping through pictures of the trip. These are some of my favorites. Photo cred for a few of them goes to the one and only Steve Dodrill. I'm telling you, he's a natural.

I love the composition of these photos. But, like always, I find myself getting frustrated with most of the pictures I post due to the fact that I don't have any good editing software. All of my pictures are basically straight from the camera. If I had some extra cash and extra time to spend editing photos, I would invest in photoshop. My pictures would have softer edges and a different color balance. However, I have come to terms with the fact that editing pictures for my blog is not what I should be spending my time and money on currently. Maybe someday I'll get them to look like I want. Until then, I'll just surf over to Katie's Pencil Box and drool over the look of her photos. Go check them out. You won't be disappointed.

Anyway, here are some things I want to remember about the trip that only those who were there will appreciate.

"We've been good fla-ekkie-la."
"You're a goofball!"
"I can't say 'Peneolpe Cruz' fast enough!"
Giant marshmallows and Silas's resulting marshmallow mustache.
"Why don't we say 'sexing'?"

I'm hoping to write a "Let's Eat" blog tomorrow, although I am tempted to write about Jayme's wedding instead. Decisions, decisions. So much to write, so little time. :)

Away from the Office

2011-07-31T12:26:00.000-07:00

Last night my cousin Jayme got a new last name. She married Mike at one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to. Yes!

My family came to town for the wedding and today we are packing up and heading west for a few days. No internet, no computers, just us. "Let's Eat" will continue when I get back. Thanks for all the support you have shown me during this series.

Catch ya later. I hope your week is as enjoyable as mine is going to be!

LE - Carbs

2011-07-28T00:08:00.000-07:00

I've been dreading attempting to write this post all day. There is so much information I want to share about carbs that I know I am going to forget something. But I guess the only thing to do is start writing so...3...2...1...

Most people who recommend high protein diets also recommend not eating carbs (including fruit). On the other hand, I think eating carbs is ok, as long as they are the right carbs. I am going to discuss carbs in two categories. I am not going to use the scientific categories, just the categories that I have in my head :). I will also include my recommended daily serving with each category.

Fruits and Vegetables
Recommended daily serving: Unlimited! (I like this one!)

All of you know how good for you f&vs are, so I'm not going to go through that whole shpeel. My advice for you in this category, however, is to get creative. There are tons of great ways to incorporate these into your diet ( see here, and here, and here for just a few examples). If you are not a fan of fruits and vegetables? Don't worry. Bryce wasn't either. Then we learned the art of making your f&v's appealing. Doctor them up! For example, Bryce always says he doesn't like salad unless it is "loaded," meaning that it has tons of "toppings." Remember from the last post that we aren't afraid for protein and fat. So toss that salad with cheese, crumbled bacon, meat, eggs, creamy dressing... whatever it takes to get you to eat it. Now go grab some apple slices, celery stalks, and a bowl of peanut butter for dipping and then keep reading...:)

Grain
Recommended daily serving: 3

This is the category that I am going to crack down on. I want to start this category by telling you that, as soon as you finish reading this, you should go to your kitchen and look at the ingredient labels on all of your grain products. If it has the words, "Bleached," "white," "enriched," or any other word that makes you think the product is not 100% whole wheat/grain, THROW IT AWAY. There are no natural nutrients in those products. They are doing nothing for you except making you weigh more than you want. Noodles, crackers, flour tortillas, white bread, etc, are all junk food, even if they might not seem like it.

Esh, doing (and saying) that was the hard part. I remember after I first took this step, I looked in my cabinets and thought, "I have nothing to eat!" But before you feel like this is unreasonable, let's talk about what to fill those shelves with. Examples of "good" grains would be.

100% whole wheat bread

Whole wheat pasta

Oatmeal

Whole wheat tortillas

Quinoa

Popcorn

Grapes Nuts, Whole-Wheat-Shredded-Wheat, and other cereals

And many more

The foods in the list above actually offer nutritional value. Some of them are sources of fiber, b vitamins, and iron. Soluble fiber (found in oatmeal) can not only reduce heart disease but can also lower the accumulation of belly fat! Wahoo! Others of these foods are good sources of insoluble fiber which decreases the risk of colon cancer and other GI diseases.

So if these foods offer these benefits, why only three servings a day? Well, grains are tricky. Almost all the benefits derived from eating these foods (soluble and insoluble fiber, b vitamins, iron) can be gained from eating solely protein, fats, and f&vs. On top of that, as I mentioned in the previous post, you have to eat carbs more frequently than proteins to stay satiated.

Thus, I must admit that the real reason I keep grain in my diet at all is that it is very difficult to eliminate it completely. Remember how we want to be PRACTICAL and SUSTAINABLE? An example of how this plays out for me would be that I have oatmeal for breakfast and a sandwich with 2 pieces of bread for lunch. Allowing three servings usually lets me eat grain twice a day. And I am simply not at a stage of life where it is practical for me to abandon grain completely. So for now, I am letting it hang around. Maybe someday I will be able to phase it out completely, but for now I am able to maintain my desired weight and still eat 3 servings per day. So really it is no big deal.

I think that's all I'm going to write about for now. I was going to go into starches, but I don't think I will except to say that they are controversial. Some people say they make you accumulate fat, others don't. If I eat them, I count them as one of my 3 grain servings, but I try to avoid them for the most part.

This really is doable. I know this can be a huge change to start with. It was for me. It might not sound practical and sustainable, but it really can be! Keep in mind that you should be eating enough protein and f&vs that you don't feel hungry, even with only eating 3 servings of grain a day. I can honestly say that I don't miss eating all the grain that I used to. In fact, I will leave you with the example of what I ate today so that you know that this is possible:

Breakfast at 10:

Two eggs

Two pieces of whole wheat toast

Coffee with whole milk

Lunch at 1 (which I wasn't even hungry for):

Open face tuna sandwich on whole wheat

Baby carrots

Coffee with whole milk

Dinner at 5 (not hungry again, but Bryce had to leave early):

Steak

Grilled onions

Cauliflower mashed "potatoes" (see link above...they aren't actually potatoes)

and Banana "ice cream" with peanut butter mixed in for dessert (see link above...its not actually ice cream)

*would have added a salad, but I didn't have any lettuce or spinach

Snacks throughout the evening:

An orange

Cheese

Decaf tea with whole milk

I feel like this was...wordy. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Check back for another LE post soon.

P.S. When I wrote out "orange" as an evening snack above, I typed it too quickly and spelled it wrong. The suggested replacement word was "organ."

LE - Upping Protein

2011-07-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

First let's talk protein. Eating more protein has seriously been one of the most instrumental changes in my diet. Bryce and I both love eating this way. Since most men I know love protein-rich food (not a stereotype, just an observation), this is a great diet change for the whole family.

Protein and carbohydates both have 4 calories per gram. However, your body uses carbohydrates faster than proteins, which means that (even though they have the same amount of calories per gram) when you eat carbs, you get hungry faster than you do when you eat protein. Think of it as a race. If carbs were racing protein in a marathon, the carbs would have the lead for the first mile, but then have to stop. They would be burned up so quickly that they couldn't make it to the finish line. Protein, however, is the pacer. It is burned more slowly, and thus it last longer. Similarly, if you eat carbs for breakfast at 8, they will be totally burned up by 10:30 and you will be starving. However, if you eat protein, you will stay "full" until lunch.

Thus, eating protein will help you lose weight because you get hungry less frequently. Being hungry less results in fewer thoughts about food, less trips to the kitchen, less snaking, and overall, less excess food consumed. This has been huge for me. Before I learned this, I would eat cereal for breakfast everyday and would be famished only a few hours after. I would then find myself meandering to the kitchen for a granola bar. The granola bar lasted and hour or two, and then it was back to the kitchen for a bagel, etc. Although the food I was eating was never high calorie food, this caused me to gain weight simply because I was having to eat so frequently to stave off hunger. Now, however, I eat high protein breakfasts and often totally forget about eating lunch because I don't get hungry.

The same thing can be said of eating "good" fats (dairy fat, nut butter, etc), although they do have more calories than protein. However, if you read the previous post, I hope you gathered that nutritious calories are not bad things! Your body needs them. Do not be afraid of eating good fats!

Here are some ways that I incorporate protien (and fat) into my diet...

Breakfast food options:
Eggs with sausage or bratwurst or bacon.
Oatmeal with a couple big scoops of peanut butter mixed in.
Whole yogurt with berries.
and always a cup of coffee with cream or whole milk.

Lunch:
Tuna-salad or chicken-salad salads or sandwiches
Chicken grilled on the Foreman
Hamburgers (usually without the bun...stay tuned for the next post!)
Dinner leftovers (see below)
Lunch meat and cheese (which is great for lunches on the go!)

Snack:
Nuts
Beef Jerky
String cheese (the real kind, not a "cheese product")
Hard boiled eggs

Dinner:
Meaty stews and chilis
Grilled or baked cuts of meat (steaks, fish, pork chops, chicken breasts)
Roast beef and other slow-cooked meats (become good friends with your crock pot!)
Authentic-style tacos

These are just a few suggestions. Generally when I talk about eating these foods, people start getting concerned about cholesterol. However, I would point you to the book "Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It" by Gary Taubes to answer your questions. The response is too lengthy to type out here. Suffice to say, I do not think eating these foods (within reason) will result in cholesterol problems, especially if you are at a healthy weight.

Overall, eating protein gives your body a healthy and sustainable form of energy. I am not, however, against eating carbs. Stay tuned to my next post about how to incorporate carbs into your diet in a healthy way.

Us

2011-07-25T01:16:00.000-07:00

I just spent way too long creating my blog's first page :). Look up and click on "us" for a little info about our family. This is my way of doing a brief introduction for any new readers. It didn't turn out quite like I wanted (the font I liked best was too small to be readable), but none of my creative endeavors ever do. However, I'm learning to accept the imperfections and even like them a bit.

What I do like about this new page is that it is a little glimpse of my family. I love being an "us." Bryce and Piper fill my life with so many wonderful things. So, while I'm at it, I'm going to go ahead and share a song for each of them.

Bryce

Piper

xoxo

LE - Quality over Quantity

2011-07-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

What I hear over and over again blamed as the cause of heaviness is that "Portion sizes are too big!" This may be true. However, I propose that this is NOT the main problem facing the majority of the people I know who are trying to lose weight, especially women in my age range. I know many people who skimp and starve in an attempt to lose weight, and only see about 5 lbs max fall off. Within a month or so all of these people realize that cutting back on how much they eat is not a very efficient way to lose weight and also makes them feel weak and constantly hungry. Thus, I propose that, in many cases, the problem is not how much we eat, but what we eat.

One reason I chose "Let's Eat" as the title of this series is that I want eating to be portrayed in a good light. Our bodies need lots of energy in order to operate at their optimum level. Depriving ourselves is not the healthy way to lose weight. In fact, skimping can have lots of negative consequences. For example, osteoporosis rates are expected to sky rocket when my generation gets older because women are are not eating enough calories when they are teenagers. As these teenager's bones grow, they are not receiving enough nutrients to be built strong. This is just one negative result of the concept of "skimping", not to mention the fact that cutting back on portion sizes can easily lead to eating disorders which millions of women and men experience.

As part of the introduction to my nutrition class, we had to write down everything we ate for a week. We then plugged this information into a computer program which analyzed the results. It turned out that, while I was not losing the weight I wanted to lose, I was eating far too few calories for a woman of my age, height, and activity level. The feedback my professor gave was that I needed to eat different foods AND eat more of them! I took the advice and can truthfully say that while I am at the thinnest I have ever been, I eat the most I ever have. I feel energetic, healthy, and I no longer feel like I am always hungry. Hardy quantities are good...when you are eating the right foods.

So what do we eat and what do we avoid? That is what I want to touch on in the next three posts. Before I do, however, I should share this...

I want to encourage you to focus on eating right in your own home (that is, unless you eat out for most meals). Often times when I tell people what I eat, many of them get caught up on the "exception scenarios". By this I mean that I hear many questions such as, "What do you do if you go over to someone's house and they cook food you are trying not to eat?" or "What about holidays?" or "How about when you go out to restaurants?" Those are all valid concerns. However, my general take on those issues is this: If I am eating correctly in my home, where I eat the majority of my meals, then it is ok to make a few exceptions. For example...

If my mom cooks me diner that doesn't fit the guidelines of my diet, I eat it!
If Bryce buys me chocolate, I eat it!
If I am out with my family and we decide to stop at McDonalds, I eat it!

Remember the two words that we used in the last blog? Practical and sustainable! You will not follow through with any diet that interferes with your social life. So, focus on eating right in your own home. I love the phrase, "Healthy eating starts at the grocery store." Fill your cart with nutritious food and don't buy the junk. We tend to eat what is most convenient and accessible, so consider what you are bringing into your house. If you can manage eating right at home, splurging in the "exception scenarios" will not make you fat. So accept hospitality! Welcome gifts! Make healthy eating a part of your home life, don't let it become your entire life.

LE Introduction

2011-07-23T13:56:00.000-07:00

A question I get asked frequently is, "Emily, what's your secret to getting thin?" As many of you know, I have slimmed down a bit over the past three years. In high school and early college I was constantly trying different methods of dieting, always wanting to change my figure and never feeling very confident. It seemed like no matter what I tried, I couldn't achieve and/or maintain my target weight.

But, in the fall of 2007 my degree required that I take a nutrition course. I enrolled in a class taught by Jack Brook at Mt. Hood Community College. What I learned in that class was a catalyst for me to start changing the way my family and I ate. I consider that class the diving board from which I jumped into the world of practical and sustainable healthy eating.

Before I lose your interest, I want to emphasize the words PRACTICAL and SUSTAINABLE. I know that I've read countless nutrition blogs and almost always stopped half way through them when I realized that the authors of the blogs were total nutrition whackos. Either they want you to spend a fortune buying all your groceries at the ridiculously priced health food stores, or they tell you to eat the craziest foods that require hours of labor and planning in advance. I don't dig either of those ideas. Instead, the way that I eat is doable. It is important to me that my method of eating is practical and sustainable, otherwise I will stray from the course. I'm hoping that you find the tips I share with you reasonable.

I also want to add a few of disclaimers before I start into this series (Bryce says I am the "Queen of disclaimers").

First, I'm not intending to brag. I am familiar with the battle to lose weight. And had it not been for the gift of the information shared with me, I would still be in that struggle. I hope you know that I approach this blog series timidly and humbly, only with the attempts of trying to help.

Second, I don't want to make it sound like being thin is that big of a deal. It's not, really. There are many things in life that are bigger deals. I figure if you have read this far in this blog, you may be interested in dropping a few pounds. Well, hear this loud and clear: Losing the weight that you are hoping to lose won't make you totally happy. It won't solve all your problems. And, along the same lines, you need to know that how much you weigh is not a measure of your value and worth. Which leads me to disclaimer three...

It is my hope that you would throw your scale away. Just get rid of it! Healthy eating IS NOT about a number, or about the amount of weight you lose, or how much you like the way you look. Healthy eating IS about taking better care of your heart, giving your body more and better energy, thinking better, sleeping better, aging better, and overall feeling better. Drop your desire to be skinny. Increase your desire to be healthy.

And lastly I want to say that I am no nutrition expert. One nutrition course hardly qualifies me to be writing blogs about nutrition. All I am going off of is the fact that the way I eat has helped me lose weight and keep it off. I don't know all the technical science behind the advice I'll give and I won't delve into any sort of physiological wordy mumbo jumbo. I'm just going to keep it simple.

I am still figuring this out, but I think LE (Let's Eat) will be a four to six post series. I am hoping to complete the entire series within a two to three week time period, but I'm not holding my breath (so don't hold yours either). I don't want this series to get in the way of my other blogs. I like feeling free to post whenever and whatever I feel inspired to write, which may or may not be LE posts. But, I do feel inspired to share this information in general, so that is why I am starting this series. I don't want my "secret to getting thin" to be a secret. Because, after all, we're all in this life together! Let's share what we know.

If Only

2011-07-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

"If only." Boo. If there was one thought that I could erase from my head, it would be that one. Unfortunately, I can't seem to shake it. I've always been a fickle person, chasing one whim after another. Tonight I find my mind playing out that thought over and over again like a broken record.

If only Piper was a few years older...

If only Bryce worked different hours...

If only I was done with school...

If only this f****** laundry could fold itself...

If only we lived in Colorado...

If only we had a yard...

If only I had more talent...

I'm so sick of it. I know in my head that even if all of those things happened, I would still be left unsatisfied, always wanting something more. And yet, telling myself over and over again to, "be content where you are," doesn't seem to be doing the trick. Is this how everyone feels? Will I be like this forever? How do I make it stop? How do I make myself feel fulfilled? Is that possible?

The grass isn't actually greener over there, right?

I have no resolve for this. No easy solution. I'm feeling empty. But I do have two quotes that, though they don't provide all the answers I am looking for, resonate with me, move me, and help me.

"If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world." -CS Lewis

"You have created us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they rest in you." - Augustine

I am restless. I am unsatisfied. I am a drifter.

Jamie in Portland, The Wrap Up

2011-07-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

Jamie left for home yesterday. Thus ends five days of catching up with my old friend. And a good old friend she is indeed...

L to R: Jamie, Me, my brother Steve, my sister Sarah, our friend Andrew Hayes, Jamie's brother Craig

Jamie and I basically talked for her entire visit. It is crazy how we can go a few years without seeing each other, yet our friendship doesn't change. Jamie is unbelievably kind hearted. She is always going out of her way to make others more comfortable. She has been a good friend to me throughout all of our years together. She is so patient and helpful. When we talk, I feel like she is genuinely interested in what I say. It is so easy to have a conversation with her. She laughs easily, cares deeply, and lives whole heartedly.

We made another video about what we did while she was here. Don't worry, the sound should be synced correctly on this one. This time we used a bingo game to tell our tales. The game lasted just over 10 min, so I had to split the video into two parts in order to post it on YouTube. I will post links below the videos for the events/places/things we talked about in these videos and for the video in previous post.

I love you, Jamie! Thanks so much for coming to visit. I think you're wonderful.

Links from the video in the previous blog:

Voodoo Doughnut

Saturday Market

Sand in the City

Portland Farmer's Market

Paper Heart

Links from the videos above:

Palio's

Masterpiece Classic Wuthering Heights

Fascination

Pok Pok

101 and Phantom Planet

Catfish

Mo's

Set

Jamie in Portland Day 1

2011-07-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

The video explains it all...amidst a bunch of giggling. Enjoy (maybe?).

P.S. I'm not sure why, but the sound is super delayed on the video. I'm trying to fix it, but I'm not sure that I am tech-savvy enough, in which case you may have to suffer though it as is.

4th of July Weekend

2011-07-15T10:12:00.000-07:00

This post is sending us back a few weeks, but I wanted to make sure to blog about the 4th of July weekend. It was one of the most fun weekends I've had in a while and I wanted to make sure it goes down in the history books (aka this blog).

Bryce and I got tickets to see Modest Mouse at McMenamin's Edgefield on Saturday the 2nd. Modest Mouse has been Bryce's favorite band for years and they have definitely become one of my favs as well. This concert was really something. It might be the best show I've ever been at. The band played with so much enthusiasm and the sound was mixed perfectly. But I think what really set the show apart was this... Most of the concerts I've been to before have been for bands that sing mostly about falling in love, breaking up, etc. That's great and I love songs like that, but Modest Mouse songs are more philosophical. Their songs are mostly observations about the oddities, frustrations, and conundrums of life. Because of this, Mondest Mouse fans span various generations and they resonate with the lyrics and sound on a deep level. I will post a video below of my favorite song that they played all night. It is a song called Cowboy Dan which is a story about a true renegade. The reason I am posting this video is that it demonstrates what I am talking about with the crowd. Skip in to about 3:20 and watch the guy in the yellow shirt for a few minutes.

The day of the show was also the 100th birthday of the venue. Edgefield used to be a poor farm years ago, but it became abandoned. The McMenamins bought the property and turned it into a restaurant, brewery, distillery, vineyard, hotel, spa, venue, golf course combo. It is awesome and is probably our favorite summertime hang out. For the birthday celebration, they had bands playing all across the property, face painting, wine tasting, etc. We met up there before the concert with Kim, Kyle, Connor, Kaley, and Gramps. We got drinks and sat at a picnic table in the shade playing Chinese poker. It was a great way to spend a sunny afternoon.

The guys (minus Con and Gramps):

The gals (minus Piper):

Sunday night was Jayme's bachelorette party. We had a great time bar hopping on Alberta. Good food, good drinks, and good laughs.

This was Kim Akiyama's photo and I stole it off facebook.

Monday was the 4th. We bbqed steaks at my in-laws with our friends and family and spent the afternoon swimming. The girls sunbathed, the boys stuck to the shade. In the evening we talked around the fire pit and then caught the local fireworks show. Piper hated it. She buried her head into her grandpa's shoulder the entire time. It was cute.

What a weekend!

One for Mama, One for Papa, One for Baby

2011-07-14T22:40:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, there is a difference between like and love. Today, as I unpacked our bags, I decided on the three things that we took to Mexico that I "loved" having with us the most. I picked one for me, one for Bryce, and one for Pip.

1. My Lightnest bag. My friend Paige handmakes these bags and sells them in boutiques in Georgia and at her etsy shop. I won this bag from a giveaway on her blog. I've had it for about 7 months now and have used it almost every single day. It was particularly useful on vacation because it doubled as a carry-on and a beach bag. What is so nice about it is that it is super sturdy. Most of the time I was hauling around my hefty camera, a liter of water, diapers, sunscreen, snacks, toys, etc. That is a lot for one bag to handle, but it held up amazingly well. The bag is truly quality workmanship. When I'm not on vacation I swap items in and out of it because I like to use it as a diaper bag, school bag, and purse.

I didn't happen to get a picture of me using the bag in Mexico, so I took this picture using photobooth so you can get an idea of what it looks like on the beach ;) . Mostly I just got carried away after taking the pictures above and think pictures taken with the photobooth backgrounds are hilarious.

2. Bryce's Kindle. Traveling with a Kindle is awesome for two reason. First, you don't have to lug around all the books you want to read in your luggage. The Kindle is light and thin, leaving you with more room for whatever else you want to pack. Second, you have almost any book you want right at your fingertips. While we were in Mexico, Bryce decided he wanted to read "A Rubber Band Story" by Tommy Angelo. Five minutes and ten dollars later he was reading it. He never even had to leave his lounge chair.

I didn't get a picture of Bryce reading his Kindle in Mexico either, and he refused to do a photobooth picture. :) I guess I'll just have to leave that to your imagination.

3. Piper's Tuga Swimsuit. My in-laws bought this suit for Piper (either at REI or online, I can't remember) and she wore it every single day we were in Mexico. She has other swimsuits, but in the hot Cabo sun, wearing a suit that provided UPF protection and extra coverage was the way to go. The material also dries quickly which is a plus. Mark and Mel bought a size 4T so that she can get a few years out of it which was great thinking. Piper was comfortable in it, and I was more comfortable knowing that I didn't have to worry about her getting burned. We just sunscreened up her arms, face, and lower legs and let her jump in.

I hope you aren't getting the vibe that I'm trying to sell anything. It is just that when I find a worthy product, I like to give it props. Plus, these items were super useful to us and I thought I would pass on the info to any of you fellow travelers. Hope it helps!

Cabo

2011-07-14T12:26:00.000-07:00

Late last night we got back from a trip to Cabo San Lucas. There were so many moments worth sharing that it is making sharing them difficult. There is just too much to write about, so I will keep it short and sweet: All play and no work makes Emily a happy girl.

I didn't touch a computer the whole week. It was nice to unplug. But I missed you, blog. I have many ideas for posts swarming in my head and a couple days of down time, so I'm sure we'll be seeing more of each other soon.

Wedding PARTY

2011-07-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

Early this week, Kaley, my sister-in-law-to-be, invited me and eight other gals to a girls-night at her house, promising it would be "full of surprises." So, Thursday night I headed over to her house where we had a delicious dinner, giggled, and talked about Kaley's wedding plans. After we ate, Kaley tried on her wedding dress for us. She looked stunning. I cannot wait to see her walk down the aisle in it. She will light up the whole room.

When Kaley got changed back into her regular clothes, she said it was surprise time. She handed each of us an envelope with our name on it and told us to open them all at once.

Inside was a handmade note inviting all of us to be her bridesmaids. There wasn't a face in the room that wasn't smiling.

L to R: Me, Annalise, Karina, Kaley, Eunice, Kaycee, and Stephanie. Missing: Riley, Kandice, and Genovieve.

We laughed, we daydreamed, we ate ice cream and watched Father of the Bride, we swapped ideas...but most of all, we all felt honored that we will be able to stand beside Kaley on such a monumental day. Kaley, you made the evening so memorable and fun. Being part of your wedding party will be so special, and having you as a sister will really be a gift. In the words of Franck Egglehoffer, I think you're fab-oo-lous.

Carry Me In

2011-07-01T00:14:00.000-07:00

Today I had a lot of plans so I kept Piper out and about without her nap. The sweet girl was exhausted and ended up falling asleep in her car seat three different times. The day was busy, I was dragging, we were running a little late, the car was full of stuff to bring in, and all of my muscles were sore from a workout I did yesterday. Carrying her in meant an extra trip up the stairs and down the long hallway to our apartment. But there was nothing I would have rather done in those three moments than to carry my sleeping girl inside.

I remember being carried in from the car when I was little. It would usually happen on holidays when my parents would keep us out late at family celebrations. I loved being carried in and put in bed. It felt so cozy. I can remember feeling like my parents' shoulders were made perfectly for me to rest my head. As they climbed up to my room, the creak of the old stairs made me feel home. I loved it so much I even remember faking sleep in the car, just to get them to carry me in.

Now, experiencing this scenario from a parent's perspective, these moments are even sweeter. I think what is so wonderful about carrying Piper in is that it never seems like a hassle. Yes, it is an inconvenience, but a totally welcomed inconvenience. It makes me think about how much I really love Piper. She puts me behind in so many ways everyday. I make so many sacrifices for her. But every single one of them is worth it. Not that I don't get frustrated sometimes, I do. But the thing is that I want to be the one putting this girl's shoes on, and changing her diapers, and brushing her teeth, and carrying her in from the car. I love her so much and it is a privilege that, of all the people in the world, I get to be the one to show her my affection in so many tangible ways. When she is 22 and thinks back to being carried in from the car, it will be my shoulder that she remembers.

Piper is getting older and falling asleep in the car less and less frequently. I'm cherishing every moment I get to hold my sleeping baby. Because some day soon, she will wake up and walk herself in. It will be gone and I will miss it. But the memories will always warm my ever-softening heart.

2009, 8 months old

2011, 2 years old

DIYing It Up

2011-06-28T22:03:00.000-07:00

Here are some DIY things I have been doing lately...

1. Tissue paper pom-poms are now my go-to for decorating parties. They are so easy to make, inexpensive, and very cheery. My friend Kim taught me how to make them, but you can also reference this tutorial.

2. This healthy, sugarless, homemade "ice cream" is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. I will be making it a lot this summer. Thanks to Dani Hampton for sharing the link.

3. I used this tutorial to make some string chandeliers for Jayme's shower, only it didn't quite work out like I was hoping. The tutorial is great, but I strayed from the path and it got me into trouble. Instead of using normal white string, I tried to use some yellow, orange, and green (Jayme's wedding colors) yarn that I already had. The shapes of the chandeliers were great, but little pieces of glue got stuck in the yarn and balled up. I think I'll try this again with the correct materials to make some chandeliers to hang on our balcony.

Here is a picture from Bryce's phone of my failed a attempt:

4. My project for tomorrow is to take in a bunch of old skirts.. I have no idea how to go about this except that I watched this video. I hope I'm on the right track. Does anyone have any better advice/tutorials they can share with me?

5. I put tea light candles and white rocks that I got at the Dollar Tree in some mason jars that were just sitting in my closet. We used them at Jayme's shower, and now I think they are headed out to line my balcony. If I ever have a yard or a garden, you can bet these mason jars will morph into something like this.

6. I am starting to work on a new header for my blog using FotoFlexer. We'll see how it turns out.

Just a couple little things, but I thought they were worth sharing. I've linked to it before, but I will link to it again...PINTEREST IS AWESOME. I get so many ideas (including some of the ones above) every time I log in. You should join.

On another note, I feel like my blog has been off balance lately. Almost all of my recent posts have been along the lines of, "This is what I did this week...". I want to go back to writing more of my thoughts, ideas, dreams, fears, etc. Stay tuned.

Jayme's Bridal Shower

2011-06-27T23:53:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, my friend Kim and I threw a bridal shower for my cousin Jayme. My mother-in-law was gracious enough to host the shower on her back deck, and it really worked out nicely. The weather was beautiful, but not as beautiful as the bride-to-be!

What I like about bridal showers is that they mean the wedding is right around the corner. The showers are so full of excitement and dreaming about the wedding to come and the life thereafter. Jayme is going to be one busy gal over the next few weeks, and I know her wedding is going to be lovely. I'm counting down the days.

All this shower planning has totally put me in "wedding-mode." I've been making playlists of love songs and doing my fair share of daydreaming. Jayme is a total country girl, so I've been exposing myself to love songs with a little bit of twang. Every time I think of Jayme's wedding, I think of this song (minus the "baby on the way" line... after all, she didn't break any bows). Listening to it makes me think of how much Mike loves Jayme and how many wonderful things the they have in store. They are going to be beaming on their wedding day.

I also always think of this song, for obvious reasons. :) Jayme, Jayme I love you.

Let's Pretend

2011-06-26T00:32:00.000-07:00

Up until the past two days it was not very sunny or warm here. But we pretended like it was! It's summer after all, isn't it? Sunglasses - check. Sandals - check. Sun - pending. We filled the week with an evening spent at my in-laws celebrating belated birthdays and father's day. The fire pit and our jackets kept us warm and the bbq and ice cream reminded us that it's supposed to be summer. We also spent an evening at our favorite park (Laurelhurst), with three of our favorite things (blankets, beer, and bocce ball), and two of our favorite people (Jen and Casey Bedell).

Contrarily, the weather has been beautiful the past two days. It has been glorious. Tomorrow is supposed to be a toasty 85. You can bet I'll be basking in it.

P.S. We also had a fun night with our friend Andrew in which we invented a new "handshake." If you are curious, view it here. Let's start a trend. All the cool kids are doing it.

P.S.S. The Bedells and I share a liking for Jimmy Eat World. They have some very summery songs if you are looking for some new tunes. Here is one of my favs.

The Passport Saga

2011-06-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

Already little Piper has been on more airplanes than I had been on when I graduated high school. This girl gets around! In a couple weeks she will be leaving the country for the first time. We are going to Mexico with Bryce's family. We couldn't be more excited to go, but getting Piper a passport was quite the headache...

The paper work was no big deal, but the picture was a different story. Since I have a decent camera, I first tried to take her picture at home against a white wall so that we didn't have to pay ten bucks for the people at the store to do it. I snapped a bunch of pictures and then headed to Walgreens to print them without really looking at them. When I got to the store, I found that I had taken this picture which was perfectly posed, but too blue for the passport people to accept.

So, since I was already at Walgreens, I decided it would be best to just pay the money to have the man there take her picture. But Piper would have none of that! When they pulled down the white screen to take her picture in front of, the sound scared her. She freaked out and would not go near the screen. She was screaming and crying. I tried holding her in front of it, but she would just burry her head. We tried everything we could to prove to her that this screen was not scary, but nothing worked. Oh the mind of a two year old! Eventually, I decided we would head over to the post office and see if we had any luck there, but the same thing happened.

The only option we had was to take more pictures at home. Capturing a picture of a two year old that fits all the specks required of a passport photo is not easy! Here are some of my attempts:

Too close.

Crying.

Hair in the face.

Running away because she was tired of taking pictures.

Pretending to take my picture.

Posing.

I was about to give up when I snapped this picture. I printed it and took it to the post office. The lady said she thought there was about a 50/50 chance of them accepting the picture because it was so shadowy. I was at wits end, so I just decided to give it a shot. And, thank God, they accepted it! Piper officially has a passport and can come to Mexico with us. Which is a good thing because if she would have had to stay home alone for a week, the house would have become a total disaster ;).

He's Back!

2011-06-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

He's back! He's really back! Bryce got home from a 10 day trip to Las Vegas yesterday. He and his brother went because the World Series of Poker is happening this month. He didn't play in the tournament, but he played in the cash games on the side. The WSP draws a lot of people to Vegas and he thought this would be a good opportunity for him to make some money. It turned out to be pretty profitable.

But goodness gracious I missed him! 10 days is the longest we've been apart since we've been married. I was about to burst at the seams with excitement to see him yesterday. I picked him up at the airport and then we went to Little Big Burger near the Brewery Blocks. Everything was really tasty! After dinner we walked up to Powell's, a bookstore that covers an entire city block. It is huge. Bryce got a couple books he had been wanting, which always puts a smile on his face. We spent the rest of the evening relaxing with a movie.

This morning Piper nearly threw a fit because I wouldn't go wake up daddy : ). I'm not sure which one of us is happier to see him. Either way, this guy has two girls who love him very much and are so glad he is home.

So Portland.

Fathers

2011-06-19T15:28:00.000-07:00

I just want to take a minute to write out a little note about all the incredible fathers in my life.

1. My brother-in-law, Andy, is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. He is generous, thoughtful, and can talk with anyone. He is the father of my two nephews, Silas and Caleb, and he is doing an amazing job raising them. He fosters an incredible amount of playfulness and creativity, making their house a fun and homey environment.

When my dad passed away, my mother, my siblings, and I were all wrecks. Andy truly stepped up in those moments, driving us all around, leading us, helping us with anything that we needed. I'll never forget how he took charge in the best way when we really needed him. Thanks, Andy. Happy Father's Day.

2. I've written about Gramps a lot on this blog, and that's because he is one of our closest friends. In a lot of ways, he is like a 20 year old in the body of a 75 year old. He is full of life, love, and hilarious stories. He has been the best grandpa to Bryce and has welcomed me into his life as a granddaughter. He watches Piper for us weekly and they have a great time together. They always go to the McDonald's play-place and spend hours there. While we were in Colorado he sent me a text that said, "Would you hurry up and get back here? I want to go to the McDonald's play-place and am too embarrassed to go by myself." :) I love it. Happy Father's Day, Gramps!

3. Uncle Brent was my dad's brother. They were super close growing up. Uncle Brent moved to Oregon in his 20s, but they always loved to talk and visit each other. I moved to Oregon three months after dad died. Having Uncle Brent out here made all the difference in the world. Uncle Brent's dad died when Uncle Brent was in his young 20s, so he could relate to what I was going through. There were a couple of times when we went on long walks or drives and just talked about it. These conversations were tremendously helpful in my healing process. On top of that, he was always there to help when I was having car trouble or needed directions. My adjustment to a new state would have been ten times harder without him. Happy Father's Day, Uncle Brent!

4. It is hard to capture how thankful I am to have Mark as my father-in-law. The way that Mark has taken me into his family has been remarkable. Bryce and I were talking the other day and Bryce said, "Emily you ARE his daughter now. He cares about you in the same way that he cares about Connor and me." And that is exactly how I feel. I feel like I am one of his own. He is always telling me he loves me, giving me hugs, and writing me cards. Whenever we have financial questions or are trying to make a big life decision, he is the guy we call for advice. If we ever need some repairs done to our apartment or cars, he is there. He has been amazing with Piper and will even babysit her overnight by himself. He has given so much to our little family that we will never be able to repay. Happy Father's Day, Mark!

5. Bryce is a better father to my child than I could have ever imagined. Thinking about their relationship makes me tear up. He watched her for me everyday this school year while I was at class and the two of them are so close now because of it. He has been in Las Vegas the past 9 days and Piper has had a hard time with it. She keeps saying, "I need my daddy!" to which I respond, "I need your daddy too!". I don't know how I would have ever survived these past 2 years of being a parent without him. He was there for me when I was up at 2AM with a screaming baby, when I was on the verge of breakdown because of the life changes that becoming a mom brings, and he was there to smile with me when we would creep into Piper's room to watch her sleep and think about how beautiful she is. Through all of the ups and downs of parenthood, he has been there. He has been a rock and a guide for me. Piper and I would not be the people we are if it weren't for him. Happy Father's Day, Bryce!

Although my own father is not here, today is a happy day. It is so wonderful that I have 5 great men (6 including Steve, but he is not a father yet) that help fill that void in my life. Few girls have as many incredible men in their lives as I do. What a gift!

Blue Valentine

2011-06-18T23:46:00.000-07:00

I saw Blue Valentine yesterday and I liked it so much that I watched it again today. Watch it. As soon as you can, go watch it. It is by far and away the most realistic movie about falling in love and being married that I have ever seen. I was watching some interviews with Ryan Gosling, the male lead, and he described the movie as dealing with, "...what happens in the 'happily ever after' of real life." There are so many romance movies out there where no one is real. Everyone is perfect and they never face any significant problems. And for all those of you out there who are as sick of those movies and their impact on our culture as I am, I think you'll like this film.

It is hard for me to describe why I love this movie without you first seeing it. It will rip your heart out in that way that only the best movies can. It captures what can happen to a couple when they have to deal with all the shit that life brings. And it deals with the ways that a person's upbringing and personal history impact the way they treat the person they love. Over the past 3.5 years Bryce and I have experienced how living in the real world with a person who was raised differently than you, loves differently than you, copes differently than you, communicates differently than you, etc can challenge your relationship.You truly have to fight for your marriage to stay alive. Everyone does. We have a lot of married friends and at one point or another I have heard every single one of them say, "This is hard. Being married is not what I expected it to be." This movie shows the struggle.

After one of the worst and longest lasting fights Bryce and I ever had, he called his friend Trevor. Trevor said something that really made an impact on me. He said, "Anything that is truly worth doing in this life is going to be hard." Blue Valentine not only shows the fight, but it shows why the fight is worth it. It shows why being married is really something special. There are so many moments in it that I want to write about. They all could make me cry. But, I don't want to spoil any of it for you so the only thing I'm going to say is...

Seriously. Go watch it.

25 things...

2011-06-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

Today is Bryce's 25th birthday! For the past two years I have written little lists about him. When he turned 23 I wrote out 23 fantastic things about him. And when he turned 24 I wrote out 24 things he is to me. This year I am going to write out 25 of my favorite non-major memories with him. By that I mean I will write out some of my favorite memories that are not huge milestones like getting married. Just memories of the little things. I will write out the story for some of them, but others will just be inside jokes.

2006

1. December, 2006. Portland, OR. Bryce and I became close friends at Multnomah, but I had decided to move back to Colorado. Bryce and I thought that we wouldn't be very good at keeping in touch with one another, so we made a pact that we would call each other every New Years Eve. So far, we have kept that pact ;).

2007

2. April, 2007. Portland, OR. Meaningful talk at Mt. Tabor Park only moments before Rebecca ate it on her wave board.

3. June, 2007. Clackamas, OR. "You look smokin'!"

4. July, 2007. Portland, OR. Singing "Seventy times 7" while driving with Andrew and Gretch on one of the funniest nights.

5. July, 2007. Estacada, OR. "I forgot to turn off the oven."

6. August, 2007. Bryce Canyon, UT. We spontaneously decided to stop at Bryce Canyon on our way from Arizona to Oregon. It was totally awesome.

2008

7. April, 2008. Mussoorie, India. Bryce and I had to laugh as we were both laying in our hotel in the foothills of the Himalayas, puking our guts out. We were in one of the most scenic places we may ever be, and we were sick as dogs.

8. April, 2008. Estacada, OR. Playing beer pong on our dining room table...by ourselves.

9. May, 2008. Estacada, OR. Our first apartment had a balcony that over looked the Clackamas River valley. One night this huge thunderstorm came rolling through the valley. Bryce and I sat out on our balcony and had an amazing view of the lightning.

10. June, 2008 Troutdale, OR. Bryce planned an awesome date geocaching and surprised me with tickets to the Death Cab for Cutie concert that evening in one of the geocaches.

11. July, 2008. Experience the Valley Summer Camp, Tygh Valley, OR. Bryce and I worked on the "lake team" at a summer camp. Bryce drove the kids around on boats all day while I stayed on the shore and helped with the lunches, etc. In the evenings when all the kids had left, Jake Cox, Connor, Bryce, and I got to take the boats out on the lake. One night we anchored them in the middle of the lake, jumped in, and nearly drowned from laughter as Jake made us listen to "Eat All The Old People." (Don't watch the video...it is weird, just enjoy the song.)

12. July, 2008. Experience the Valley Summer Camp, Tygh Valley, OR. Laughing until our stomachs hurt as Jason Wiseman ran around with his legs and arm in the sleeves of his sweatshirt.

13. September, 2008. Portland, OR. Bryce surprised me with The Get Up Kids tickets and it was one of the most fun shows we've ever been to.

2009

14. June, 2009. Gearheart, OR. Senior Retreat at the beach with all of our closest friends at the time.

15. August, 2009. Ashland, OR. High five for last minute road trips!

16. October, 2009. Portland, OR. Laughing as I try to pull you out of bed at 5 AM because the fire alarm went off 10 minutes after you had come to bed.

17. November, 2009. Portland, OR. Beginning of our months of making martinis and watching LOST...all day, every day :).

2010

18. January, 2010, Portland, OR. Our first experience with the neti pot.

19. May, 2010. Portland, OR. Bryce surprised me with a DSLR for no particular reason.

20. June, 2010. Seaside, OR. Clam digging.

21. July, 2010. Estacada, OR. Bryce making "shot their wad" jokes about the fireworks show with Scott and Kyle.

22. October, 2010. Portland, OR. Having you there to calm my nerves as I got my first tattoos.

23. December, 2010. Portland, OR. "Did you smoke weed???" said in the hilarious old black lady voice.

2011

24. February, 2011. Portland, OR. "You are typing that in itunes, not in google! And you were just typing for four minutes without noticing!!"

25. June, 2011. Portland, OR. "I love that I can look at Emily and say that she's 'my girl.'" - Bryce

Happy Birthday, Bryce! It was hard to narrow this list down to 25. We've had so many wonderful memories together and I look forward to making many more.

Familiarity

2011-06-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

I know I’ve written this a million times, but leaving Denver and coming back to Portland is always a weird transition for me. It takes me a while to remember why I ever left Denver and why I always say I love Portland. I was feeling a bunch of mixed emotions yesterday. It isn’t easy to want to be in two places at the same time. I went to a party at Andrew and Gretchen’s yesterday evening and it was good to be with my friends. I needed that. I needed to remember that there is so much for me here. I drove home from their house the long way, just so I could see the city lights. I wanted to remind myself how great it is to be in Portland because I was really missing Denver.

When I got home, I started catching up on all the blogs I follow and I found one that totally captured how I was feeling. Julia Herrington is one of those people who I know I would be friends with if only the timing had been a bit different. She came to Multnomah a semester after I left and became good friends with my friends Andrew and Kelsey. I have heard nothing but great things about her. I found her blog over facebook and started following it. Her most recent post called “Coming Home From Home” captured EXACTLY how I was feeling. Go read it and then come back and read the rest of this. :)

She talked about feeling at ease and totally settled in Livermore, and that is how I feel in Denver. And this feeling is particularly pronounced when I’m with my old friends. I have a lot of close friends in Portland, but when you meet at 20 years old, you've missed out on a lot of each others' lives. As opposed to my friends in Denver where if feels like we know all about one another. We have a history together. With Portland friends, that history is more embryonic.

It feels good to be with Denver friends. To remember old jokes. To talk in the silly Boston accents that we all think are funny. There is just something about being able to look at a person and remember what they were like when they were 16, or 14, or 10. There is something special about being able to not see each other for a year and then pick up right where you left off. That sense of familiarity is hard to leave.

Needless to say, I had a great time with my friends over the weekend. We…

· Called our friend Charlie in South Africa. It was so wonderful to hear his voice from a world away.

· Caught up with our high school theater teacher, Tracy Schwartz. She is always so fun to talk to.

· Invented two drinking games, one using old Jeopardy questions and the other involving Crocodile Dentist.

· Played slip-n-slide wiffle ball. It is even more fun than it sounds.

· Watched the Mavs win the championship.

· Sang along to Mariah Carey like we did in the ol' days.

· Went to a Rockies game and cheered (I guess that's what you call what John was doing) as they beat the Padres.

· And best of all, just spent a lot of time laughing and catching up.

It was hard to say goodbye to my friends, especially knowing that Bryce wouldn't be here when I got home (he is currently in Las Vegas). But, it was also good to spend time with the people I love here in Portland yesterday (and today too Kyle and Kim!) and be reminded why I like it here. I guess I have to resolve myself to say that I am in Portland for a reason…scratch that, for many wonderful reasons. And that I am just a lucky enough girl to have two places that I love to be.

Tiny Town

2011-06-17T14:40:00.000-07:00

My sister and I took our kids to Tiny Town on Tuesday. Tiny Town is a little area in the foothills of the Rockies that has a bunch of miniature buildings that little kids can look at and play in. It also has a railroad. Silas and Piper had a great time playing together and baby Caleb was happy to take in the sights. We had a picnic, road the train, and basked in the warm Colorado sun. I loved spending this time with my sister and think that it is so cool that she and I can experience motherhood together.

Peering in the window of the tiny movie theater.

Riding the train and shouting, "Choo Choo!"

Hitched!

2011-06-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

Mom married John on Saturday. You can read a bit more about them here. The only way to describe mom was breathtaking. Not many kids get to see their mom get married and it was so special. I've never seen her look happier. I couldn't fight the tears as I watched her walk down the aisle and thought about how this wedding was a symbol of the healing that has taken place in our family.

One of my cousins said it best..."There was a time when you couldn't look at Kathy without seeing a tremendous sadness. It was almost as if you could see the weight of her grief on her shoulders. But, although you can still see a tinge of sadness every once in a while, ever since she met John that overwhelming sorrow isn't there anymore. Her smile has come back."

Congratulations Mom and John. I love you both!

Mr. and Mrs. Pyrc!

Reception lunch at Macaroni Grill.

The get-away.

P.S. The title of this blog has two sources...

1. This Will Smith movie which my mom has probably seen 100 times. It was one of her favorites for a long time.

2. This beautiful Maria Taylor song. "You dreamed of a love that made you feel more alive, be worth any compromise. A love that would always keep you surprised and prove to be worth the fight." (I think I've posted almost an entire album worth of her songs throughout this blog. What can I say? She is great.).

Mom's Bridal Shower

2011-06-16T12:05:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, my sister and I threw a small bridal shower for my mom. We kept it to family only (except for my mom's old roommate, Ginger, who might as well be family). We knew that the week would be really busy and that we wouldn't have time to do all the step-up and clean-up to have the shower at my sister's house, so we got creative and tried to think of places that we could rent out for the shower. I remembered that when I was younger, my friends and I used to love to go to Stella's Coffeehaus, a cute little coffee shop on Old South Pearl Street. Stella's let us rent out a room for a really affordable hourly rate. It was the perfect setting for the shower. My sister and I brought in a bunch of food, and people were able to get coffee from the shop if they wanted. The store owners were great to work with and I would definitely host something there again.

The shower was full of tons of laughter and love. Sarah and I want to say a big "thank you" to everyone who made that morning so special for mom.

My cousins Courtney and Kirsten

My cousins Jana, Deana, Denae, and Bridgett

Sarah, Mom, Me

Me, Mom, Grandma Patricia, Aunt Linda W., Aunt Linda C., Step-aunt Brenda, Sarah

Cousin Courtney, Cousin Kirsten, Aunt Patti, Mom, Me, Sarah, Ginger

The beautiful bride-to-be!

DENVER zoo

2011-06-16T11:30:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened since my last post. Life has been such a whirlwind, I haven't had any time to blog. Now that things should slow down a bit I will try to play catch up.

First, I am on summer break! I finished the school year two Tuesdays ago at 9:30 PM. Then I packed up all of our stuff, snuck in about 4 hours of sleep, and caught a plane to Colorado at 8 AM (or, in Piper's word's, we caught "A rocket-ship to Caldorado"). Stepping out of DIA felt so good. It was in the 80s and there was not a cloud in the sky. It reminded me how much I miss Colorado summers. The rest of the day was really relaxing. In the evening we had a big family dinner on my mom's back porch. It is crazy to think that family dinners now include my stepdad and my two stepbrothers! : )

Thursday we went to the zoo. Silas, my 3 year old nephew, and Piper had a blast. Here are some pictures.

Piper with Grandma Kathy

My brother-in-law, Andy, with his son, Caleb.

Silas wanted to hold Piper's hand the whole day.

The Future Mr. and Mrs. Hambelton

2011-06-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

Last night Bryce's younger brother, Connor, got engaged to his girlfriend, Kaley. After Connor popped the question they came back to Kaley's house where their family and close friends were waiting to celebrate with them. It was wonderful to be a part of this special moment. Connor and Kaley were both crazy happy. I don't think either one of them stopped smiling the entire night, and Kaley couldn't stop shaking. The evening was full of so much joy, I think I will remember it forever. There is nothing like seeing two people so happy to be together.

Kaley is awesome. All three of us love her. We call her, "Uncle Kaley," because Piper accidentally called her that once and we thought it was funny. I'm excited that she is going to be my sister. She fits in with our family so well and adds a lot of spunk to it. She compliments Connor perfectly. I am sure she will like being a "Mrs. Hambelton" as much as I do. She is funny, laid back, smart, and gutsy enough to get into a debate with the Hambelton brothers! I love spending time with her and am glad that I get to for many years to come.

L to R: Stephanie, Kaley, Kaycee, Matt, Charles

L to R: Connor, Bryce, Dylan, Kelsey, Donna (Kaley's mom)

L to R: Candice (Kaley's sister), Kaley, Robert (Kaley's dad), Garret (Kaley's brother)

Telling the proposal story.

The GIANT pack of gum Con bought so that Kaley wouldn't question the bulkiness of the ring box in his pocket.

Yes!

Joining of the families. (Almost a great picture...love you, Mark ; )

Done with Clinicals!

2011-06-01T18:45:00.000-07:00

L to R: Me, Sarah, Yana, Viviana, Tish

Today was my last day of clinicals for the school year. The picture above is of all the ladies in my clinical/ lab group (minus one). It has been so good to go through this process with these gals. We've spent long days at the hospital together, sharing our frustrations and high-fiving our victories. All of us at some point or another have made total idiots of ourselves in front of our patients, instructors, or other nurses. It has been good to have each other to either laugh or cry over those moments.

Recently we were talking about how much we have learned from our clinical experience. On our first day working at the hospital, all of us were like deer in the headlights. We knew what the primary diagnoses of our patients were, but that was about it. Now, although we still approach the clinical setting with a bit of trepidation, we are starting to put the pieces together. The bigger picture of how to care for our patients is starting to click. We are still so far from being independent nurses, but it feels good to acknowledge the progress that we've made.

I wouldn't have enjoyed (or perhaps even survived) my clinical experience nearly as well if it weren't for this group of women. We've spent a ton of time together over these last six months and we've developed quite the list of inside jokes. I'm going to list them for my sake and just in case any of the girls read this:

"You know you are getting wrinkles when your three-year-old asks if she can strum your forehead."
Don't say the "p word" in front of Sarah.
"It's for your butt."
"The most important lesson I learned today is not to forget deodorant."
"My greatest strength is that I never think I do anything well."
"He's turning American."
The rubber thumb.
The biggest challenge was figuring out how to get back to the east parking lot.

I'm really hoping I don't forget too much of what I learned this year over summer break. I'm going to try to spend some time volunteering at a hospital and reviewing my notes. But I think I might just have to break down and invite our group to a "study session" over coffee, or better yet, fondue.

P.S. Sarah, as I changed out of my uniform today, I sang this song more heartily than I ever have before.

Sweet Husband, Sweet Spring

2011-05-31T22:14:00.000-07:00

Bryce brought these flowers home for me yesterday. He was driving past a grassy area with a bunch of wildflowers, so he pulled over and picked some for me. When he gave them to me, it changed the mood of my whole day. When I asked him why he got me flowers he said, "I was just thinking of you, and I knew you would love them." And that's what makes them so special. I love being on the receiving and the giving end of actions like these. When people take the time to write notes, or give gifts, or send a text just because they are thinking of you, it can be so uplifting. It is wonderful to have someone love you so much that they take action just to show that you are on their mind. Thanks, Bryce, for all the times you've been thoughtful of me and shown it. I love you. I can't wait to spend more time with you.

I know I have said this before, but I love Spring. It holds so much promise. These flowers are a wonderful reminder that, no matter what the temperature is like, it is Spring. I drove to school with the heat on in my car today. Tomorrow is the first day of June and people are still wearing long sleeves and jackets. But it is good to look around and notice that the flowers have bloomed and that it is still light out at 8:30.

I've been singing the song below in my head today and interpreting it very literally. Soon the clouds won't be hanging around all day. The blue skies are coming. I will post the video below because I love the aesthetic of it...the colors, the vintage...its beautiful.

Even though it is still cold here in the Pacific North West, I hope you are noticing the flowers, smelling them, running in them, and bringing them home to your loved ones.

Friday Night, Party Hoppin, Feelin Right

2011-05-28T23:37:00.000-07:00

Last night, my in-laws let Piper spend the night at their house. Piper loved being with her grandparents, and Bryce and I enjoyed having the whole night to ourselves. We originally had plans to go on a double-date with Joy and Jason Wiseman, but their babies got sick and they had to cancel (We missed you Joy and Jason. We'll try to reschedule soon.). So...

Downtown Portland, Taken while Bryce was driving 60mph on the I-5 bridge. The ferris wheel in the bottom right corner gives you an idea of where we ended up.

...Last minute Bryce and I decide to use a gift card to McCormick and Schmick's that his parent's had given us for Valentines Day. All I can say is drooool! The food was delicious. And the restaurant is right on the waterfront so we got to look out over the river as the sun set. It was nice spending time with my guy after being away last week.

After dinner we walked down to Waterfront Park where our friend Andrew joined us. It was opening night of the Rose Festival. There were tons of carnival rides, games, and a concert. But best of all, there was a firework show! They shot the fireworks off of a barge in the Willamette River between the Hawthorn and Morrison bridges. It was awesome. I couldn't help but get this song, which I love, stuck in my head. And also this song, which I definitely do not love (although it is a go-to for goofy singing in the car - "AH, AH, AH!").

After the fireworks, we met up with Andrew's wife at Shanghai Tunnel, a dingy, yet affordable bar that has a very intriguing history. The bar is in a basement that was once part of the Shanghai Tunnel system. Read about it here. That third paragraph is pretty interesting.

My main squeeze, seafood, fireworks, Andrew and Gretch, Katy Perry, and a slave-trading tunnel system - not a bad way to spend a Friday night!

P.S. I got the title of this blog from this song. I guess The Hambulletin is your place for fantastic pop hits.

Going Home

2011-05-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

A couple posts ago I wrote about how there would be similarities in the events following my grandma's death and the events following my dad's death. I wrote that before going to Colorado for the funeral. Now, on the other side of that trip, I can say that there were even more similarities than I expected. Most were pretty tough, but one similarity was truly wonderful. The picture on the cover of the "program" that was handed out at their funerals was the same. It was a picture of a white dove and it said, "Going Home." I love that and I'll tell you why...

Every time I go to Colorado, I think about the idea of "going home" a lot. Before getting on the plane, I get so excited to be back in my mom's house, to remember the smell of it, to remember how the light filters in through my bedroom blinds, to sit in the backyard, to remember what the water tastes like there. And even more than that, I get excited to be hugged by my mom and to laugh with my siblings. I look forward to feeling home.

However, as wonderful as my visits to Colorado are, after I have been there a few days, I realize that going home isn't all it is cracked up to be. Nothing has stayed the same. And even if I could recapture everything how it was when I was growing up, it wouldn't be what I remember. I am nostalgic for something that I didn't ever actually have. Even when I was growing up in my mom's house, I still had that deeper longing for a home. Back then I thought I would finally feel at home when I had my own family and built a life for myself.

But now, when I leave Colorado and come home to Portland, I know I will never totally feel at home here either. No matter how much I love the feel of a welcome-back-kiss from Bryce, or holding his hand as we drive down the street, or falling asleep in a familiar bed, or raising my own family, it doesn't satisfy me. I still long for a home that I don't have.

And I think all humans feels this. We miss a place that we've never experienced.

One thing that I love about the gospel is that it address this. I would type it all out, but I don't feel like I am a good enough writer to do the idea justice. So, while I hate doing this because I don't know if anyone will actually take the time to listen to it, I will link to a Tim Keller sermon called "The Longing for Home." His words are so meaningful to me, I tear up when I listen to it. It hits me so hard because it deals with the longing I feel. And it gives hope.

Putting Dad and Grandma's deaths in the context of the gospel gives me incredible comfort and joy. Because of Jesus, their death is a homecoming. They've finally found what we are all searching for.

CO

2011-05-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

At 10:30 this morning I got back from a last minute trip to Colorado for my grandmother's funeral. I am so glad I went. It was such a meaningful time for my family and I also had some great nights with my friends.

Bryce took Piper and I to the airport at 4:30 AM on Thursday morning. Piper was a total champ on the two flights that day. I had gone to the Dollar Tree the day before and let her pick out some fun things to play with on the plane. Her favorite was a set of Winnie the Pooh stamps. They kept her entertained for a long time. I also bought some tootsie pops. I figured they would keep her quite if she started to get grouchy. She made me laugh because she literally ate it lick by lick. After 30 minutes, her sucker was only half gone. So, if you are pondering this question, the answer is A LOT!

Uncle Brent picked us up from the airport and Piper zonked in the car. I really enjoyed the conversation Uncle Brent and I had. He dropped us off at my sister's house where we ate dinner, listened to the thunderstorm, and hung out until we left to go the airport again to pick up my brother who had been on a trip to California. Come bed time, we were totally wiped out.

On Friday I spent all day helping put together a slideshow for my grandma's memorial service. For those of you who knew Grandma, the slideshow can be viewed here. I loved going through pictures of Grandma, especially the ones of her when she was a newlywed. She and my grandpa were so great together (he was a total hunk). I love imagining what their life was like. And it is rad to see all of the awesome clothes my grandma had back in the day.

Friday evening was Grandma's viewing. It was an incredibly special time where I felt like a lot of healing started.

On Friday night, a few of my high school friends and I drove downtown to Rooster and Moon where one of our friends is a cook. Then we meandered over to Benny Blanco's Pizza, a hole-in-the-wall joint that served some of the most delicious pizza I've ever had. I had a really good time laughing and catching up with my old friends. It was a great way to spend time after such an insane week.

Saturday was Grandma's burial and memorial service. I'll probably write more about that later. In the evening, my friend Dan played a show at The Press Coffee Company. It was so cool to be there. Dan played and sang for my friends and I all the time in high school, and I am really glad that he is still performing. He has grown a ton as a musician. And they played this song, which is one of my recent favorites.

After the show we went downtown again. Denver is a cool city. We went to Oak Tavern, Euclid Hall, and The Tavern. The Tavern was right next to the baseball stadium and had awesome rooftop seating. It was beautiful. It felt like summer.

Sunday I spent with my extended family. We drank mojitos and played basketball, the little kids on their little hoop, the adults on their big hoop, and then the adults on the little kid's hoop :). Later we had a meeting about splitting up Grandma's estate. We were able to go through some of her old things to see if there was anything we wanted to keep. I got some amazing vintage jewelry and dishes. I am so happy to have these to remember Grandma and look forward to passing them on to Piper someday.

Sunday evening I watched Once with my mom and my brother. So good.

Monday I went to Belleview Park where I both caught up and played catch with my friend Christine. It is always so good to see her. My nephews, my sister, and my mom met us there later. We had a picnic and the kids played in the creek.

I could write about so much more...taking care of the garden with Steve, swinging on the front porch, whipping out my old softball pitching "skills." But this is rambling on and on. The gist is that we had an amazing time in Colorado. I am so glad we decided to go back. It was healthy for me.

But, at the same time, it is good to come home...I'll write about that in the next post.

5 Years

2011-05-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

Grandma Hope's death comes at an interesting time. There are some really good things about the way that the timing has worked out for our family. But a hard aspect of it is that the 5th anniversary of my dad's death is tomorrow. For the most part, the actual date of Dad's death has become less significant the further away from it I get. But it isn't emotionally easy dealing with another death during this time of remembering, especially since there are some similarities regarding the events of the week. For example, Grandma's body is being handled by the same mortuary that handled dad's. We sat in that mortuary as we planned dad's funeral. It was where his viewing was (which I didn't attend). I've even had nightmares about being in that room. It is such an emotionally raw place. And if I decide to go there this week, I'm not really sure what my response is going to be.

I've also been asked to help carry the casket at Grandma's burial. I carried the casket at dad's burial too. I like doing it. It feels like a good way to honor someone, to carry their body to where they will be buried. I remember when we carried my dad's casket, my brother looked at my sister and I and said, "This is for all the times he carried us." Memories of him tossing me up the in the air or carrying me up the stairs as a sleeping little girl flashed through my head. It feels like a proper tribute to carry someone who has carried you in so many ways. And Grandma is no exception. She babysat me when I was little, supported me in all of my sports and plays, and was always was sending money to Bryce and I just because. So carrying her casket, as soul-wrenching as that is, is a privilege. But it will bring back painful memories of my dad's death none the less.

I can think back to exactly what I was doing at this time (11:31 PM) 5 years ago. I had gone over to my friend's house and sat around a fire pit with my best girlfriends at the time talking about all of the crazy drama that was happening with our friends recently. We had been one big group of friends that had just started fighting and splitting apart. I remember being so preoccupied with the whole situation that I couldn't fall asleep when I got home. I eventually gave up on sleeping and picked up where I left off in, "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller. I read something that really got me thinking, so at 4 AM I started to go downstairs to write on my old blog. My bedroom door was as squeaky as can be, and woke my dad up. He stopped me at the top of the stairs and asked me if everything was ok in a manner that implied, "If you need to talk about anything, I will stay awake and listen." I told him I was fine, just couldn't sleep and wanted to do some writing.

I went downstairs and typed out a blog post. It took awhile because I wanted to say everything just right. The sun started to come up, and I finally decided to try to go to sleep again. As I shut down the computer, my dad came downstairs. He had just woken up and started to get ready for work.

He said, "Em, you are still up?"

I rambled off some excuse about why I stayed up all night on a school night.

He said, "Are you sure everything is ok?"

"Yeah I am fine. I just had a lot on my mind, but I'm doing better now that I wrote it all out. I'm going to try to catch an hour of sleep before school."

And I gave him a hug.

And that was the last time I ever saw him.

It feels like a life time ago, but I remember like it was last week. The memories are painful, but precious. There isn't a word to describe how thankful I am to have a dad who left me with a final memory of him waking up in the early morning hours just to be there for me.

Love is Watching Someone Die

2011-05-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

I got the call from my mom around 8 AM today. Grandma Hope died at 1:50 this morning.

Mom had gone over to Grandma's house last night after getting word from Grandma's home health nurse that Grandma was fading. Mom talked with Grandma, prayed with her, and got her ready for bed. Mom laid down an air mattress next to Grandma's bed, half asleep, half listening to Grandma's heart monitor. About a quarter till 2, Mom noticed Grandma's breathing change. She held Grandma's hand as her life in this world ended.

Grandma's death comes with sadness, joy, and a lot of thankfulness. I am so thankful that she wasn't alone, in pain, or afraid when she died. I'm so thankful mom was there with her.

Mom has been such a good daughter-in-law to Grandma. Even though my dad passed away 5 years ago, my mom stuck by Grandma's side, taking her out to lunch every Sunday, helping handle her estate, making sure she was getting good health care. It reminds me of the story of Naomi and Ruth. Mom loved my Grandma in such a tangible way. It was beautiful.

Death Cab for Cutie has a song called "What Sarah Said." I can't help thinking about it today. There is a line in it that says, "Love is watching someone die." I've seen mom love Grandma in that way throughout these last few years of her life.

I also see it nearly weekly at the hospital. I've taken care of a few patients who are on comfort care, meaning that all curative care has stopped. They are only receiving treatment to make them comfortable in their last few hours/days. One of the most intriguing parts of watching this process is interacting with the family of the patient. When you look in their eyes, you see a depth that you don't usually see. A vulnerability. Because as you watch someone you love die, your whole being is exposed. You see your mortality. And as you see the person you love pass away, you dwell on what is really important. It is a raw and painful place to be, but there is so much truth and beauty in those moments.

Grandma, your life was so precious. We will all miss you, but we are so glad that your suffering is over and that you are with Jesus. Your death has a purpose. And I am thankful for the way that your life and your death have exposed me, changed me, and impacted my family.

I am a Good Mom ; )

2011-05-13T21:18:00.001-07:00

Since they covered it on Glee this week, Piper thought she would too. Happy Friday!

Playlists Galore

2011-05-10T23:03:00.000-07:00

You know those nights when you feel sick of not only all the music you own but ALSO sick of listening to online radio? Tonight was one of those nights. Thankfully, I made the awesome discovery of Music Mondays on a blog called The Flowerchild Dwelling. The author of the blog, a girl named Kelly Ann, posts a playlist or a feature about a band she likes every Monday. So far I have listened to a couple of her playlists and thought that they were worth sharing. They make good background music for studying :) . Enjoy.

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Mother's Day with Bryce's family yesterday. We chatted, bar-b-qued, and enjoyed each other's company. Piper's favorite part (as you can see by her messy face) was the chocolaty dessert. And of course all the snuggles she got from her mama and grandmas.

Melanie, my mother-in-law, also took Piper and I to a tea on Friday. It was beautiful, but I forgot my camera, so Piper and I are left to remember it by the pictures in our heads.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you mom's out there, especially to my two favorite mothers in the world - Mom and Mel!

Favorite Rainy Day Song

2011-05-06T16:53:00.000-07:00

Makes me want to hold Bryce's hand, on the balcony, drinking coffee, watching the rain...

listen here.

Grandma Hope

2011-05-05T23:28:00.000-07:00

This Mother's Day weekend is extra meaningful to me as my Grandma Hope has just been placed on hospice care. Grandma hope is 88 years old, and her heart has decided to start calling it quits. She has been in and out of the hospital for the past month, but has now decided to stay home and let whatever happens happen. I am really hoping that she holds on a few more weeks until our visit back to Colorado. I want to sit with her and hold her hand one more time.

My grandma has one of the sweetest and most fun personalities of all time. She loves to laugh, sing, play the piano, watch LOST and wheel of fortune, hold babies, and eat dessert. I feel like if we had grown up together, we would have been good friends. In her younger years she was very active and had a really goofy sense of humor. She married my Grandpa Marvin who I never knew, but was said to be the king of practical jokes. I can just picture them laughing together. They will be again soon.

Grandma has outlived two husbands and two of her four children. She has seen her family members fight in wars, with only some returning. She has seen her nine grandchildren become adults, and bring forth her seven great-grandchildren. She has been through the ups and downs and a long life, and through it all she has experienced the love of her savior.

My Uncle Brent, her youngest son, is a pastor here in Oregon. But currently he is in Colorado with grandma. He sent out an email to some of the people in his church today and I will end this blog by including and excerpt from it (emphasis mine).

"Well in case you didn't know I am currently in Denver helping with my mom who is now in Hospice care. It's always a little strange for me to be back in the "ole stomping grounds" of Denver, and even more strange under these circumstances to watch my mom slowly fail and fade. I am comforted by the wonderful truth that my mom is one of the Lord's faithful followers. It is amazing to watch the sweet Spirit she has in these days, enjoying family and friends and not complaining about anything. My mom and I have had some great talks and I hope I can have such a God honoring attitude in my last months of life. Of course no one knows when our last day is on "this side" , so we are enjoying all the days that the Lord gives mom."

Playing the piano with Piper, February 2010

Pumpkin pie, Thanksgiving 2010

Piper with her Great-Grandma Hope, Thanksgiving 2010

Just Around the Corner

2011-05-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

This is how I spent my evening after a long day working at the hospital. Bryce was playing poker. Piper was sleeping. It was just me, my computer, the setting sun, and a triple sec and pineapple juice. The drink was my own concoction based on the limited ingredients we had at our house. It was nearly unbearably sweet and hardly alcoholic, but so summery.

Summer. I can almost see it.

I have four more weeks of school until break. I am so excited, it is hard to push through until the end. I spent most of the night looking at swimsuits online. I could use a couple new ones. Our summer is filling up fast and I am sure I will put them to good use. I really like swimming, especially when doing "coolest jump" contests. I always pull out the front flip, the back dive, or the go-to heel grab. ; )

Here are some other things I am looking forward to about summer.

1. The three weddings we are a part of. And of course all that goes along with them. Bachelorette parties, bridal showers, rehearsal dinners. Daydreaming. Ooo-and-awwing. Singing cheesy love songs into pretend microphones (that's for you, Michelle Cunningham!...we totally knew all the words). And mostly, seeing six people I care for very much promising forever to the person love.

2. Via la Mexico! Bryce's parents are taking us for a week at an all inclusive resort. I have never been to the touristy part of Mexico and I don't think I could be much more excited. Thanks, Mark and Mel!

3. Friends and family visiting Portland. All of my family is coming to visit in July. We are going to spend part of the time at a beach house. I am really looking forward to playing in the sand with my nephews.

My friend Jamie from my high school youth group is also coming to stay with us for a few days. I think her visit will consist of lots of laughter, lots of exploring Portland, lots of reminiscing, and lots of listening to boy bands.

There is also a chance of my sweet friend Christine visiting in August. I love her!

And I heard the Maitlands are thinking of coming to town for a bit. Here's to hoping!

4. We are taking a trip back to Colorado for my mom's wedding. It will be nice to see family and old friends. I am hoping we can catch a Rockies game and maybe watch a little Newsies for old time's sake.

5. Being with my guy and my little gal, even just doing nothing.

6. Light summer clothes.

7. Being outside any chance I get.

8. Warm nights.

9. Bryce's 25th birthday and my 23rd.

10. Reading books of my choice.

11. John and Peter moving to Portland.

12. No homework.

13. BBQ

14. Listening to summer songs.

This list goes on and on...

Dear Summer,

Get here fast.

Love,

Milestones

2011-05-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Connor (Bryce's little brother) and his girlfriend of 3 years, Kaley Jameson, graduated from Concordia University. Connor studied biology/pre-med and Kaley studied education. We are really happy for both of them and had a great time celebrating yesterday. The world is now one step closer to having a great doctor and great teacher.

After the ceremony, the Jameson family and the Hambelton family went to lunch at Newport Bay which is located literally ON the Willamette River, right next to the marina. The food was tasty and the view was awesome. We even saw seals swimming through the window of the restaurant.

After lunch and a walk on the docks, we went to Kennedy School for some drinks, sunshine, and laughs. It was a great way to celebrate the accomplishments of these two remarkable people.

Kids Movies Adults Will Like

2011-04-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

We let Piper watch movies every now and then. She loves them and I really think that she can follow the story lines. Not only that, but she incorporates the movies into her everyday play. She will pretend she is one of the characters and that she is on some sort of adventure. It is cute. But, Bryce and I try to be intentional about the lessons in the movies we let her watch. And at the same time, if we are going to watch a movie with her, we don't want it to be a total snooze fest for us. So, here are my top three movies that both have good lessons for Piper and are fun for adults to watch.

1. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. I had heard this movie was good, but little did I know that when Bryce and I sat down to watch it with Piper, we would be busting up. It was pretty funny. I love the idea of the movie, the creativity, and the animation.

Furthermore, I like that this movie is not the typical story for little girls about princesses or damsels in distress. It is about nerdy kids who use their brains to do something incredible. And I like that. The main girl character, Sam Sparks, was once ashamed of her intelligence because it made her unpopular but learns to embrace it in this movie (check out this scene). I want Piper to embrace her ability to dream, create, and think.

2. Up is one of Piper's favorites and seriously has some tear-jerker moments for Bryce and I. There are two lessons that I like about this movie. The first lesson is one of the catch-phrases of the movie, "Adventure is out there!" I want Piper to learn that there is so much to do and to explore in this world. I want her to become curious and inquisitive. Piper knows lines from this scene by heart, and I like hearing her talk about her adventure book. I think I may actually start making one for her.

The second thing I like about this movie is the relationship between Russell and Mr. Fredrickson. In our society, elderly people and little kids rarely interact with each other, which is really bummer. I wish I would have spent more time building relationships with my grandparents. I am so glad Piper is close with not only her grandparents, but her great and great-great grandparents. I think older people and younger kids can really feed of each other in a good way. I may have mentioned this on my blog before, but my friend Kelsey Quinn once jokingly said, "I think they should combine the nursing homes and the elementary schools." While that idea is just a joke, I think it is a good way to get people thinking about the potential relationships between the elderly and little kids.

3. Anything Muppets. I have to admit that I don't know these movies/shows well enough to pull specific lessons from them. But, almost every muppet movie makes some sort of statement about being a good friend. And I like that. Also, the muppets are really musical which Piper loves!

I will say that the main reason I let Piper watch the muppets is that I think they are hilarious (that clip is for you, Kelsey) and awesome looking.

So, if you are thinking of having a family movie night or some quiet time for your kids, these are movies that I would recommend. And really, even if you don't have kids I think these are still good options for a night of relaxation.

What I Hate About the Blogging World

2011-04-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

One thing that I really hate about the blogging community is that everyone seems like they've "got it all together." When you know someone in real life, you know their struggles and their shortcomings. But in the blogging world, you rarely see that. No one writes about how they wasted the day because they felt so lethargic, how they've left dishes piled in the sink for a week, or how they drank too much last Saturday. Everyone seems perfect, with colorful little lives, especially on blogs kept by stay-at-home moms. After a while of reading some of these peoples' blogs, you begin to think their lives must consist only of crafting, baking, and being extraordinary spouses.

Last year I actually had to stop reading a certain blog because every time I read it I felt so bad about myself. Seriously, I don't think this lady ever had bored kids, or a messy house, or ate a shred of anything non-organic. My thoughts about it reminded me of this Maria Taylor song called "Smile and Wave." Eventually I started feeling really bitter towards her because I couldn't keep up.

But I realized I was being stupid. Of course that woman has tons of flaws. While I might not have thrived at what she was good at, she might have been horrible at some things that I am good at. And either way it doesn't matter because I don't need to live up to her.

So, in order to fight the "ungenuine perfectness" of the blogging world I want to say...

I've had a pile of laundry sitting on my bedroom floor for a week. I should be doing my homework but I am blogging instead. I let my kid watch too much TV. I am very snarky to my husband. I rarely put extra effort into a friendship. And I couldn't paint or sketch anything pretty if my life depended on it.

I am so thankful for the gospel that gives me value not based on what I do. I love the verse that says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I am very weak, but I have been given a lot of grace. So instead of always relating to that Maria Taylor song, I can now resonate with this beautiful song.

Out with the Old...

2011-04-27T21:07:00.000-07:00

...in with the new. What am I talking about? Clothes and books. Earlier this month Bryce and I got the urge to clear out our closets and bookshelves.

Bryce took on the bookshelves. Any book that we knew we were never going to read got placed in a bin and taken to Powell's. We were able to sell about five of them, and the rest we donated. It feels so good to move the books that had begun to crowd or window sill, coffee table, and just about everywhere else, to their new spots on the bookshelves where the old used to be.

I conquered our closets. It had been a while since I weeded through our clothes and got rid of what we don't wear anymore. In fact, it had been so long that I was able to get rid of THREE FULL LAUNDRY BASKETS! I went to Crossroads Trading Co, Buffalo Exchange, and Plato's Closet to sell some of them. I got enough store credit between these 3 stores to get 4 new dresses for me and a shirt for Bryce. It was rad. The clothes that they didn't buy were mostly winter clothes, so I am going to hang on to them and try to sell them again in the fall. Or else I will take them to a clothing exchange.

My new likes: used book stores and consignment shops.